The Notebook
by Babylawyer
Summary: In 1947 Regina Mills thinks she has her life all figured out, she has a rich boyfriend Daniel who her parents adore, which is so unlike last romance with millworker Robin Locksley. But for some reason, she can't stop thinking about that teenage summer romance and as it turns out she's not the only one. An OQ The Notebook AU Cover by Willow141
1. Chapter 1

**January 1947**

"So I've been thinking about how we shouldn't get married," her boyfriend Daniel says to her over the live jazz music at the club, causing her to nearly choke on her sip of champagne.

"Oh really?" She asks with amusement, wondering what in the hell he is getting at. They've been dating for six months, and it surprised her how fast she fell for him. He is so good to her, it's not overwhelming or exploding passion, but he is a good man and she really, really likes him, could maybe even love him. Best of all, her parent's adore him, especially Daddy, but even her mother, and it makes things so much easier.

"Mmhmm," is all he says, then takes a sip of his scotch, looking over at the jazz band from their table. And of course, they have the best table in the place, as close to the stage as you can get. It's not easy to get this table at the Excelsior Club, Charlotte's premier spot, especially not on a Saturday night, but Daniel had pulled out all the stops. It would be even better if he hadn't invited her parents (really just her mother, but inviting only Daddy would be a recipe for disaster), but her mother, for all her complaining about clubs, insists on being seen at them. Thankfully, her father whisked her mother away to go chat with some colleagues when she and Daniel sat down to catch their breaths after dancing and dancing on the dance floor between their table and the stage.

Daniel doesn't go on once he finishes his sip so she laughs and gives in, "Okay, I give up, why shouldn't we get married?"

He smirks, "Well see, that's the thing, I couldn't think of anything at first. And then, it just dawned on me. Your parents…"

Her parents love him, he is just the type of man her mother wanted her to meet. Cora had gone on and on, constantly expressing her disdain when she found out Regina was volunteering at the hospital, helping rehabilitate wounded soldiers, but the joke was on her because that is where she met Daniel Hammond, the perfect gentlemen from old southern money. "My parents?"

"Absolutely." What is he getting at? Daniel loves to joke around so she's not taking this seriously, it's not a marriage proposal (of that she's sure) but she has no clue what his point is. He goes on, "You see, the problem is that they love me."

She's still not seeing the problem. "They do."

"I'm exactly the type of man they want you to end up with." She snickers because isn't that the truth, if her mother had been able to, she would have handpicked Daniel for Regina.

"So what's the problem, huh?"

Daniel leans in like he's about to tell her some big secret, "Now just this, if you marry me… then you will have lost a lifelong battle of defiance against them."

She huffs a laugh because Daniel has no idea how true that statement actually is. To get away from the implications of that is she gives him a sassy, "Oh my goodness, whatever are we going to do?"

Daniel's eyes twinkle mischievously, "See Regina I think… I think you _have _to marry me."

She chuckles, "I do?"

He nods, "You do."

"And why is that?" she asks.

She takes another sip of her champagne and almost spits it out all over her white dress— wouldn't that be embarrassing—when he says, "Because if you do, your parents will always know the unhappiness that you feel for not being able to disappoint them."

She swallows carefully and laughs full-bellied, god he's ridiculous, it's one of the many things she likes about him. She teases, "I think you may have overlooked one minor detail."

His eyes narrow, "And what's that?"

Her hand trails up his arm over the pristine black tuxedo he looks oh so handsome in. "Well, you see you have to get their permission first. And I think you may have overestimated their affection for you."

She's only teasing—they would say 'yes' in a heartbeat if he asked.

"Is that right?" he asks then winks, "I don't think so."

"Oh you don't?" she asks with a raised brow.

"Well you see, 'cause I asked them already and they said yes."

Her breath whooshes out, "What?" She's a little stunned, she thought they were just kidding around, she wasn't expecting—

He drops down to one knee and oh god, this is happening. He says, "One more thing. I love you. Will you marry me, honey?"

She's frozen, words fail her, and she just looks at him, stunned.

He goes on, "I know I kid around a lot, but I'm crazy about you. Marry me? Make me the happiest man in the world."

She looks around and in her stupor realizes everyone is watching them, including her parents, who are at the bar with friends, an action she now realizes was an excuse to leave them alone so Daniel could do this.

It should be automatic, she should be celebrating, so happy, this is what every girl is supposed to want. But all she can think about is how different things are with Daniel, how she doesn't feel half as much for him as she did for Robin, her teenage summer romance. But he is out of the picture and Daniel is here and she really, really cares for him, more than she thought she ever would. What she had with Robin wasn't real or sustainable, it was too much, only so intense because of the whirlwind of it, never destined to last. This is better. Daniel will make her happy, he will and she truly likes him, and love will come, it will.

She's been silent for far too long so she does the only thing she can and throws her arms around his neck, screeching with a happiness she doesn't actually feel, "Yes. Yes!"

Who would have thought she'd end up with the beaten up soldier who flirted shamelessly from his full body cast? Certainly not her, at least not until he showed up at her school, dressed to impress, fully healed, all the girls fawning over him. He hadn't made the best first impression but then neither had the only other boy she'd ever cared for. Both had asked her out barely knowing her, and she had turned both down, and meant it. Robin, the man who stared at her so much she jokingly termed him 'staring boy', well she had turned him down multiple times.

* * *

_**June 1940**_

_She spots him as she ducks into the store for some paint, 'staring boy' Robin. Robin, the boy who she finds so damn intriguing because he doesn't treat her like everyone else does. Sure he flirted with her—which was bold because she was on a date with another man, a terrible one but still—he admired her looks but it wasn't, or at least it didn't seem like, it was about her money. It really seemed like he wanted to know her, which just doesn't happen. _

_People aren't interested in __**her,**_ _they are interested in who she's been groomed to be, a perfect lady, a perfect wife for some rich old man. She knows the only reason Mother is letting her go to school is because she can learn to be a better wife and mother there. It's not about learning, or at least learning anything important, it's about making her marketable to the highest bidder. If it goes her mother's way she won't graduate, she'll find a man and be married off so she no longer needs her studies. _

_She hates that her mother has her whole life planned out for her, and that she is powerless to stop it. She's so happy they are here in Charleston, in a new state, away from Charlotte, North Carolina, the only place she ever knew before this summer, she's so happy that Daddy insisted on spending the summer somewhere different and new. She knows it's as much for her benefit as his, wanting to give her a taste of new experiences, the chance to have a fun summer, before she goes off to college. _

_She looks out the window and there he is, chatting with Belle, her only friend in town and Belle's boyfriend, Will, who she's pretty sure is close friends with Robin. She has to admit that Robin is pretty cute. He's well built, tanned, with short, light hair, deep blue eyes, and that little bit of scruff that men in her circle wouldn't be caught dead with, which just makes it better. _

_She picks out the colours she needs, thanks Marco the shopkeeper, and tells herself to forget about Robin. Even if she was interested, which she's not, it can never go anywhere. She's not interested in him, she's just curious about being with someone who isn't rich, who her mother wouldn't like, that's all. It's a little rebellion, one she will never indulge. She doesn't know him, she can't like him, she can only like the idea of him, and the reality will inevitably disappoint her. _

_She steps out onto the street to walk back home, when Robin pops up beside her, startling her. _

"_Remember me?" he asks, as if she could ever forget him. It's not without effort though because she's tried, unsuccessfully. Her mind keeps floating back to him, wanting to know more, see if it's all an act, or if he's really truly that interested in her. _

_She can't resist flirting, there's no harm in that, and maybe it will get the urge out, allow her to stop thinking about him. "Yeah, Staring Boy, how could I forget?"_

"_So when can I take you out?" he asks hopefully, and it hurts her to say no but she has to. They just wouldn't work and the sooner they, no, the sooner __**he**_ _gets over it the better. _

_She shrugs and tells him, "Not happening, sorry."_

_He smirks in that way that makes her want to kiss him senseless. God, what is wrong with her? It's just because she can't have him, he's forbidden, that has to be what makes him so tempting. She's smiling, she knows she is, can't help it. _

_He sasses, "But you promised."_

_She bites her lip, watching his gaze drop down to her mouth. The air gets hotter and she steps away a little, sassing him right back, "I guess I changed my mind."_

"_So you aren't honouring our agreement then? We made an honest good faith bet and now that you've lost you aren't holding up your end of the bargain."_

_She scoffs, "Honest and good faith, as I recall it was neither of those, you tricked me."_

_He mocks offence and it's so cute (god, what is wrong with her). "I did nothing of the sort, it's not my fault you challenged me to something I'm good at."_

_Though he's not wrong she just shakes her head and says, a touch regretfully, "Sorry."_

_He pushes, which she shouldn't like, but she does. She can tell if she was serious, if she said a hard no, he'd stop immediately, but she hasn't because even though she hasn't said it she's enjoying this, and he knows it. He insists, "One date won't hurt."_

_She shakes her head, amused by his antics and gentle persistence. "No."_

_She fights a smile when he asks, "What can I do to change your mind?"_

_She starts to walk away, with a skip in her step that wasn't there before. She turns over her shoulder to see him looking at her, just as she expected. She flushes when their eyes meet and tells him, "I guess you'll figure something out."_

_Secretly, though, and she'd deny it if anyone asked, she hopes that he does. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Spring/ Summer 1947**

For the last two years, Robin Locksley has been rebuilding a house. His mother sold their house and moved in with her 'friend' Ruth while he was away, and with the proceeds, his savings, and the earnings he made during the war that he sent back to her, she had bought him Francis Marion's home, the place he had always dreamed of fixing up but never thought he'd get the opportunity. It was fun to dream about, as a "maybe one day" but he never thought he'd actually be able to do it, to hold the deed in his hand, to have the deed in his name. His mother had even secured him a loan at the bank for his renovation expenses.

It helped that the previous owner was desperate to get rid of the property, and had never even had an offer on it before his mother came along. So, though it was much less than the property was arguably worth, his mother had traded the money she had for the deed and surprised him with it when he came home.

He had been utterly floored by it, his mother had written to say she'd moved in with Ruth, which wasn't a big shock to him, they've been 'friends' for as long as he can remember. He's heard the whispers, though most people turn a blind eye to the reality and consider them two widows, the best of friends who bonded over raising their sons alone. His mom wrote so he wouldn't go back to the house that was no longer hers, but not for one second had he imagined that she had sold his childhood home to make his dream a reality.

His friends and coworkers have been helping him—even though he pays in beer and favours—and slowly but surely they've made this falling apart, shadow of its former glory, shit hole, into a real home.

All that is left to do is paint the inside (well, and buy furniture), and he can't believe it. It seems like just yesterday the whole place was falling apart. Lamps, blankets, a cracked mirror and an old, but still working piano, were the only signs the place had ever been inhabitable.

It had been so much work, but so much fun, creating something out of next to nothing, getting to make it his way, into what he wanted. His friend John has been an absolute lifesaver, helping him every step of the way, wanting to learn the skills so he could build his own house. Robin's already agreed to help John build a log cabin from the ground up on an empty lot that John bought just last week, since Robin's house is nearly finished.

The house is exactly what he always wanted, it's just, as he looks around the nearly completed home, all he can see is Regina. When he starts to paint the siding white—he had bought tan, because he wasn't building _her house_ but he hates it—all he hears is her telling him how she wants a white house with blue shutters (already bought and ready to be put up once the paint dries).

It's crazy, to build the house she wanted, he knows it is, which is why he bought the ugly tan siding in the first place, but he couldn't stop. There's that big wrap around porch they were supposed to sit on to while their days away, and that room overlooking the water where she could paint.

It's unhealthy, his obsession, and he has no idea what Regina Mills is up to these days. She will never live here, never see it, but still he found himself compelled to include the things she wanted.

The result is gorgeous though, and he uses that as his excuse, as the reason why he used her designs.

The problem is that because of it, she haunts the house. Nearly every part of it reminds him of her. He moves in anyway, hopes as time passes that the memories will too, but he finds himself thinking about her far too often. It has to stop.

He has his friends over, fills the house with new memories, builds himself new furniture, decorates but nothing helps. In a last ditch effort to rid the house of Regina he brings his friend Bella Tink to the house, and they christen every room. He would feel bad using her that way but she doesn't mind, she's a war widow and they see each other from time to time, to curb their loneliness. It's not love, and neither of them wants it to be, just a warm body to satisfy their desires. They satisfy those desires copiously in every space they can, but it doesn't help. The house is still haunted by Regina, by his past and he can't have that, he _needs_ to move on, it's been seven damn years, he can't keep clinging to her.

So, he decides to sell and contacts a realtor, a family friend, Ruth's son David who is surprisingly good. David gets the house's picture up in all the South Carolina newspapers as a big story of revamp and remodel by a poor war veteran who could barely afford the place but always dreamed of it. Within two weeks Robin has multiple offers to buy the house, but he turns them all down. With all the work he put in this house has to go to the right person, or people, and he hasn't found them yet. He's not willing to part with the house until he finds the right fit and he ignores David's suggestion that perhaps he doesn't actually want to sell.

David gets back to work after Robin assures him he does want to sell. The story, Robin's story, makes its way into the Charlotte Observer later that week, which David is rightfully proud of. When David calls to boast about it Robin can't help but wonder if the Mills family still lives in Charlotte and if they might happen to get a glimpse of the story, which features not only a picture of the house, but him in front of it.

It's a stupid dream but now he's hoping that when someone comes to see it, that person is Regina. But it never will be, she went to school in New York, and probably stayed there after, is probably married with some beautiful children, and never thinks of him. Why should she? It's been seven years, normal people don't obsess over a failed teen romance.

* * *

_**August 1940**_

_He makes her shut her eyes as they get closer to the house and he knows she's confused as to where he's taking her. He purposefully parked his truck far enough away so she wouldn't be able to figure out where he was taking her. He's leading her by the hand and he steals a glance back to confirm her eyes are closed, which they are. He feels a wave of affection for her, over how much she trusts him, how she is willing to let him lead her seemingly to the middle of nowhere with no hesitation. They are nearing the end of their time together, the summer is almost over, and he's determined to make the most of it, determined to share everything he can with her, including this, his 'it will never be' dream house, that only his mom knows about._

"_Wait here," he tells her just before the front step as he runs inside to quickly light the lamps he keeps here. "Don't open your eyes yet," he calls from inside._

_He's back in under a minute, but still feels a little bad for it. "Sorry, darling, are you ready?"_

"_For what?" she asks nervously._

_He steps behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, his mouth to her ear and whispers, "Regina, open your eyes."_

_She gasps, "What is this place?"_

_He plants a kiss on her neck and tells her, "It's Francis Marion's home, he was a military officer during the Revolution. This place was built in 1781. Marion's plantation was occupied by the British during the Revolution and they burnt it down to the ground when they left. He rebuilt it exactly as it was before. He took the destruction and turned it into something beautiful, err well, at the time anyway."_

_He leads her inside with a caution to "mind the broken step." He broke the third step two years ago and nearly broke his leg in the process when he sunk down unexpectedly. Robin wonders if Regina will see the beauty in this place, or think he's crazy._

_He takes her to the sitting room, where the piano still stands, dusty as hell. He's surprised it hasn't sunk into the floor but it seems the foundation is in better shape here than other places of the house._

"_This place is gigantic," she breathes, eyes full with wonder, and it is, it's a huge home, and every room downstairs is connected by arches and the openness makes it seem even bigger._

"_Yeah, a gigantic piece of crap." He knows it's weird to say but it's part of what makes it special, or at least somewhat attainable, if it were in its full glory he would never ever have a shot at it, wouldn't be able to hang out here. It's the minute possibility that he could be able to get it someday that makes this place special to him._

_Her eyes narrow and she looks at him questioningly, "It is."_

"_I'm gonna buy it one day and I'm gonna fix it up." That's the dream anyway, probably won't happen but it could, and that's enough._

_She smiles broadly, "You are?"_

_He nods, "I am, All it needs is a new floor. And new walls and a roof."_

_She laughs, "Is that all?"_

_And it isn't, "And plumbing and electric."_

_She looks around, "And furniture, unless you are planning to sit on the new floor."_

_He snickers, "Yes, and furniture." He thinks she might actually get it, might be the only other person who sees the potential. "It's right on the water. And there's a big old barn out there, I could turn that into my workshop."_

"_Well, what about me?" she asks coyly. "Don't I get any say in this?_

"_You want a say in this?" he asks trying and failing to keep the longing out of his voice._

"_Yes, I would."_

_He beams broadly, can't help it, she wants a future with him and maybe it will work out somehow, against the odds. "What do you want?" he asks preparing to commit it to memory, just like when she told him her dream house would be on the water, a big property, lots of space, close to town but not too close and he had thought of here and how perfect it was that they wanted the same things._

"_I want a white house, with blue shutters…" He nods, already picturing it, "and a room overlooking the river so I can paint."_

"_Anything else?"_

"_Yes."_

"_I want a big old porch that wraps around the entire house, where we can drink tea and watch the sun go down."_

"_Okay."_

_She raises a brow, "You promise?"_

_He swears, "I do," because he does it's perfect for this house, the one that he will probably never actually get but can dream of, just like a life with her._

"_Think this works?" she asks, wiping some of the dust off the piano bench before sitting down._

"_Only one way to find out," he tells her, settling down beside her, careful to stay out of the way._

_She smiles at him as she settles her hands on the old keys, she is breathtakingly beautiful and he can't help it, he leans in and kisses her. He keeps it soft because she wanted to play and if he kisses her how he really wants to he knows she won't get the chance._

_She giggles and nudges his shoulder goodnaturedly, "I can't play 'Chopsticks' if you're doing that."_

"_Sorry," he smirks, "I'll behave."_

_And he does, she plays through three songs before the need to kiss her again becomes too much. He doesn't disturb her, or not intentionally anyway. He satiates the need by kissing her jaw, dots kisses down her neck that make her fingers still, music stopping as she sighs._

"_I don't ever want to leave here," she breathes, "this is a perfect moment, a __**perfect**_ _**summer**__."_

_His mind is screaming 'then don't', but that is selfish. She worked her ass off to get into college and it's a big deal, he will not ask her to give that up, no matter how much he wants to. It's breaking his heart that in two weeks she will leave but he will not stop her, he loves her too much for that._

_He's completely head over heels in love with her, but he won't tell her, because it might pressure her to stay and he won't do that. If it's meant to be he has faith it will work out. And maybe this is one too many of his guilty pleasure great romance novels clouding his judgment but he really believes if they are destined to be together they will find their way back to each other. He will write to her every goddamn day she's in college if that's what it takes, but he will not get in the way of her going, it's too important._

_Still, he can't help but ask something selfish, "Then stay for a while." It's already late and he really should be getting her home but they have so little time left together and he can't help but want to milk every last minute._

_She sighs, "I don't want to go," and he knows she's talking about more than tonight._

_He wraps his arms around her, pulling her in tight, "I don't want you to go either but, we still have two weeks until you leave for college, let's make the most of it."_

_She looks up at him, nervously then shyly asks, "Why haven't you asked me to stay?"_

_He sighs, planting a kiss to the top of her head, "I will not stop you from going to college, darling, I can't ask that of you I won't."_

_Her voice trembles, "I could have pushed for Columbia College, it's closer, so much closer to Charleston, I could visit. Sarah Lawrence is Mother's dream, and I…" she sighs, "I just don't want to leave you."_

"_I know, but it's a great school and you are going to have so much fun there, and you'll be away from her, free to do what you want at college really figure out who you are, just like you always wanted."_

"_I got that this summer, I know who I am," her voice shakes, eyes wet with tears, "I'm a girl who is very much in love with you, who wants stay in this bubble forever."_

_She loves him, __**she loves him, **__while he suspected as much he thought perhaps that was because of his feelings. His eyes start to water, so full of emotion, as he confesses, "I love you too."_

_Her cautious, "You do?" is the sweetest thing he's ever heard in his life._

"_So much, I've never felt about anyone the way I feel about you Regina Mills."_

_She looks deeply into his eyes and whispers, "Make love to me."_

_He gasps a, "What?" because she can't be serious, he must have misheard or something._

"_I've never felt this way before either and I want you to make love to me Robin, right here, right now. I want to share this with you, want to remember this night forever."_

_And oh god he does too, so, so much but, "Are you sure?"_

"_Robin I love you, so much and I want you…" she trails off and looks down, "Don't you want to?"_

_He slides his hand down her face, tilts her chin up to his, looks deep into her oh so expressive brown eyes, "Of course I do darling." Then he kisses her, hard. It's deeper, needier than before, there's an anxious undercurrent to it, it's somehow more because they both know where this is headed._

_He's nervous, he's never done this and he doesn't want to hurt her but god he's so excited. He's hard already, has been since she first asked him. They've made out plenty, hands have wandered over clothing and all of twice his hand has slid up under her shirt and cupped her full warm bust, but for all the times he's pictured her naked (and that's many many times) he's never actually seen it._

_He needs to get himself under control, he's practically vibrating with excitement. It's just… it's her. She's so unbelievably gorgeous and he may actually die from seeing her perfect naked form, but god what a way to go._

_He strokes down her back, and he's trying not to get ahead of himself but he wants to peel this dress off of her so badly. She steps back, leaning onto the piano, pulling him closer into her. She's pressed up right against where he's so hard for her and he can't help but grind against her._

_She sighs, her head falling back as he kisses down her neck. He's a little frenzied, a little sloppy but it's just, they are really doing this, and he can't contain himself._

_He nips lightly in the divet of her neck and her surprised gasp leads him to do it again. Her hand tangles in his hair pressing him into her again. He's slightly concerned about leaving a mark but then she breathes, "Again," and who is he to deny that?_

_He sucks this time and she lets out a moan that goes right to his dick, god she's so tantalizing, her every move and sound so utterly erotic. All it takes is a look or a peek at her cleavage and he's springing up. It would be embarrassing how much he craves her if she didn't enjoy and encourage it so much. She knows the effect she has on him, she's a darn tease, his Regina, and he loves it, loves the self-satisfied smile that pops across her lips when he rises because of her attentions._

_She lets out a breathy and oh so sexy, "Haahh," and rights her head, her hands gripping desperately at his head, pulling it back up to meet her mouth. She kisses him eagerly, her tongue darting into his mouth as soon as their lips touch._

_He moans when she sucks on his tongue and god, he's too far gone._

_It's made even worse (even better) when she pushes him back a little, giving him a sultry look, then moves her fingers to the buttons of her dress, and oh god, starts undoing them. She goes one by one, ever so slowly baring her skin, undoing him as she undoes the buttons._

_He catches a peek of her satin __brassiere, and he wants that off too, wants to see her breasts, wants to hold them in his hands, kiss, lick and anything else she will let him do._

_She undoes more buttons as his breath thickens, the bare expanse of her waist becoming visible. When the top of her girdle comes into view and her dress falls to the floor, there is so much more of her to see and it takes his breath away._

_He licks his lips, his eyes raking over her body and then she undoes her girdle, lets it fall to the floor, undoes her brassiere, bearing her perfect chest to him and he can't wait, he cannot. He closes the distance, presses his lips to hers hard, catching her off guard as he kisses her fiercely, trailing down her neck (past a mark from earlier, oops) to that bare expanse of her chest._

_This feels so private, intimate and special, which makes it even hotter. He knows no one has done this to her and her breathy sigh as he nears her nipple tells him he's on the right track. He doesn't know how hard he can go, how sensitive she will be so he licks over her nipple gently and she throws her head back, crying out, "Yes."_

_He takes a chance and sucks her nipple between his lips and she shivers and moans, and oh god it is so, so hot._

"_S'good?" he asks even though he's fairly certain he knows the answer._

_She nods emphatically, "So good, I—mmm—keep going."_

_His pants are so tight, too tight but he keeps sucking at her, tries different pressures, amping up the intensity just a titch every time as her cries grow louder until she hisses 'Too much,' and he apologizes, licking over the reddened nipple._

_He comes back up to claim her lips again, her hands moving from their spot braced against the piano to grab at his biceps, pulling him even closer. He's going to take another pass down, give her other nipple the same treatment, just needs a little break from the awkward half bent over stance he'd taken before._

_When their kisses break and begins to descend again Regina asks, "Honey?"_

_He Mmm's his question into her neck as he continues feasting on the delicate skin there, leaving a couple little red marks he hopes will fade shortly._

"_I—uh, oh yess, __**like that**_—_um—oh—how are we g-oing to do this?"_

_He pauses and looks up at her questioningly._

_She's flushed red and breathing hard, and he doesn't think she's ever looked this sinfully delicious before. She bites her lip and clarifies, "I just, um, there's no bed."_

_And oh okay, he sees what she means now. "I, uh, come here often, there's some blankets I'll sit on when I come to read."_

"_Where?"_

_He's loathe to leave her even for a second but they do have to relocate at some point. He's up and across the room in a second, grabbing the pile and fanning the blankets out onto the floor in record time._

_Regina laughs at his exuberance but he's desperate to have her, to feel her pressed up against him again, to slide his hands down, take off those panties, see and feel her where he's only ever imagined, to finally know the great pleasure of being with a woman, the pleasure that he's only ever read vague allusions to and heard about sparingly when his friends had too much to drink._

_He's nervous, he doesn't want to hurt her, wants to bring her pleasure, wants to make her come apart—like he does in his bed, dick in hand thinking of her, her lips, her breasts, the way she moans when he nips at her neck—but he has absolutely no idea how to do that._

_He sits down onto the blanket, trying to keep his anticipation and nerves down but then she climbs on top of him, clad only her panties and his arousal kicks up a couple notches. He can't help but drop his gaze to her pebbled nipples, hard and standing up, from arousal or the air he knows not, but he's hoping it's the former. He takes them in his hands, cupping her full bust in his palms, rubbing his thumbs over her nipples._

_She sighs, then claims his mouth for another hot kiss, grinding her hips against his length and_ _**oh god**__, that's good, extremely good._

_She tugs at his shirt, undoing the buttons with shaky hands and then pushing it off. She sucks in a breath, running her hands down his chest, watching his muscles jump under her soft touch. It feels amazing, has him wanting more, so much more and when she grinds against him again he bites back a moan._

_Those panties need to come off, he's dying to see her, to know how she feels, to try his damndest to give her pleasure, but if she keeps this up he will lose all of his restraint. He's nearly brainless already just from the pleasure of her against him, the feel of her soft warm breasts in his hand, the hot breathy moans she's been letting out._

_She starts kissing down his neck, throwing in quick little nips that send heat down to his lower belly, and make him groan and rock into her. It's all too overwhelming and if he's not careful he will come from this, and easily._

"_Darling, my love, can't—Ohhh—love, you have to stop t-that. T-t-too good."_

_She pouts playfully, pressing her lips softly to his, keeping up the slow grind that makes him groan, "Please love."_

_Then she makes his whole body throb with need, "Feels __**so good**__, need you."_

_And oh god he needs her too. "I wanna give you what you need, can I?" his hand hovers over the waistband of her panties. He knows this was her idea but she needs to know they can stop at any time._

_She nods then sits up onto her knees, he groans at the loss of her warm heat against him but then she's pushing down her panties, maneuvering so they are all the way off and she's sitting on her knees beside him. His throat goes dry as he takes her in, all of her, naked and waiting for him. God, she's beautiful, and provocative, alluring, desirable and she __**loves him. **__Somehow, she is his, at least for now._

_She looks a little nervous so he whispers, "You are so beautiful."_

_She blushes then tugs at his pants, "These need to come off." Yes, yes they do, they are far too tight and constraining. She licks her lips as his dick comes into view, his erection straining against the thin fabric of his underwear._

"_That too," she commands, and he obeys dutifully, keeping his eyes on her, his blood going hot at how she stares in wonder at him, over how much seeing him naked seems to be turning her on._

_She moves to straddle him again and he stops her, needs to have a clear head to say what he needs to, and he will lose his mind the second she presses herself to him. "I, um," his cheeks heat as he admits, "I don't know what I'm doing."_

_She giggles softly, "I don't either, it's our first time."_

"_No, I, uh, I mean… I just, I want to bring you pleasure Regina, I want to make you feel good, and um…" and then he gets an idea and just the thought has him biting back a moan and wanting to stroke his aching dick. "Can you show me?"_

_Her face twists, "What?"_

"_Can you, um, can you show me how to touch you? Show me what you like, will you teach me how to bring you pleasure darling?"_

_Her cheeks flush even redder, "Oh, I…"_

_He doesn't want to push her if it makes her too uncomfortable. "I want to make you feel so good darling, and god, seeing you, showing me, it would be so hot, you have no idea."_

_That seems to mollify her, has her nodding shyly, shifting off of her knees, opening her thighs, and grasping his hand, trailing it down her body to where she's warm and… wet and oh god, that turns him on, has him imagining her tight and wet around him and oh lord what an image. He hadn't realized she'd get wet for him (there's his inexperience showing) but it makes so much sense and is so damn exciting._

_She lets go of his hand and he rests it on her inner thigh watching mesmerized as she slides her fingers down, collects some of that wetness, and brings it up to almost the top her lips and rubs, moaning softly as she does, two fingers circling as she tells him in a breathy voice, "Like this."_

_He can't really see her, with the way she's situated, but that doesn't matter at all when she takes his hand and brings it down to collect some of her wetness and then up to sit on top of a little nub._

"_Here?" he asks as he rubs slow circles, trying as best he can to mimic what she did._

"_Yesss," she breathes, "but um, faster and, uh, firmer."_

_He does that, well he hopes he does and she moans, "Mmm yes, just like that, __**oh**_ _yes."_

_He keeps it up until her thighs are shaking, sharp moans coming out. She's so stunning like this, he can't believe he's this lucky, that he gets to experience this._

"_Is this what you need?"_

_She whimpers, nodding and trembling, he circles a little more firmly and she throws her head back, "Oh god __**yes**__, just like that, don't st-top."_

"_I won't," he promises as she moans again and again. His dick is throbbing but this, watching her, making her feel good, is its own pleasure._

"_I—" she gasps, hips jerking, "Oh, __**Ahhhh**_…_. Oh god, st-op, stop."_

_He does, as she pants heavily beside him._

"_Did you…?"_

_She nods, breath slowing a bit, a satisfied smile across her face that gives him an inordinate sense of pride._

_As she catches her breath, he tries not to get too excited about what comes next. But then she climbs back onto his lap, grinding her hot wet heat over him and he moans loudly, it feels so good, just what he needs, satisfies the aching need that's slowly consuming him._

_She takes him in her hand, sits up, lining him up with her, slowly sliding the tip of him inside her and oh god, it's the best damn thing he's ever felt. She's so tight around him and his belly clenches, he needs her to move, needs her take him inside all the way._

_She whispers, "I love you," right when she takes him inside and he kisses her, too overwhelmed to respond with words, but pours every emotion into the kiss._

_Her slow descent down him is amazing and torturous, she winces about half way through and he brings his hand to circle back over that nub which seems to help. He tells her he loves her and she can stop if she needs to. She assures him she's good, just needs a minute. They kiss softly between I love yous as she sinks down. He nearly drowns in the pleasure when she finally takes all of him inside._

_Oh god, it's so good, and he's so close, just from feeling her, from seeing her come apart earlier. She slides against him, taking him in deep and he's lost to the pleasure, to her. He watches her, stares at her breasts bouncing as she thrusts on top of him, remembers the ecstatic look on her face earlier and groans a warning, "Darling, going to come."_

_She moves faster and he feels it explode, pleasure rushing out from where they are joined, flooding up his spine, down his legs, so intense he twitches and spasms as he spills into her with a relieved groan._

_God that was good, his dick slowly softening inside her, still throbbing with residual pleasure from the feeling of her around him._

"_Wow," he breathes, and she echoes it with a shaky giggle._

"_I really love you," he tells her between lazy kisses and she smiles so broadly his chest tightens over how gorgeous it is._

"_I really love you too," she says pulling her arms around his waist and pressing her head into his chest._


	3. Chapter 3

**August 1947**

She's wedding dress shopping, with her girlfriends, her mother and a few of her mother's friends. She could have done without all the fanfare, and the screeching, hollering and high energy comments are a bit much for her, but it's what is expected of her. Her friend Mal is her saving grace, the only person other than her mother, who doesn't fawn over every dress, half of which are totally hideous. She doesn't know what she would do without Malinda Leficant, the only one of her high society friends that she actually likes and enjoys spending time with. Mal's the only person who hates all of this stuff more than she does, and is brave enough to show it. Regina looks to Mal for an honest opinion and has received a vehement head shake and barely concealed grimace for all the ones she's tried on thus far.

Part of the problem is the shopkeeper picked some of the dresses out, and her mother picked the rest, so of course, none of them are her. They are what Cora wants her to be.

Seeing that, Mal makes her way out into the store and comes back with a beautiful, simple, dress that she subtly adds to the top of the pile when Cora's back is turned.

Regina grabs it, and puts it on next. It's ivory, not white, which is good because she can't pull off a white wedding, not that anyone will know that. The dress has ¾ length sleeves, a V neck, an intricate lace overlay on the top part that ends at a cinch that accentuates her waist and a plain skirt that billows out to the floor. It's perfect, tasteful, elegant and beautiful, just what she wanted. She sends a silent '_thank you_' up to Mal, because she can't take much more of this shopping trip and since this is the one, she won't have to.

It's all so contrived and forced. Weddings and wedding planning are supposed to be fun, yet so far it's been all strained smiles and elaborate overdone events that she wishes were over the second they begin. She knows she's supposed to want this, is supposed to be exuberant and lively, this is every girl's dream after all, but she's over it, over all the artificial interactions and pleasantries. She wants to marry Daniel, she does, but she'd much rather do it without all of this, however, that is not in the cards for her. All she can do is grin and bear it, act like the lady she was groomed to be, with the fake enthusiasm she's perfected from years of practice.

There are more squeals when she steps out but this time Mal smiles, and Regina knows she was right, that she's found the one. Her mother is eyeing it critically but she nods slightly and Regina feels her tension relax. She was willing to fight her mother on this, but it's nice to know she won't have to.

At that same moment one of her mother's friends, Victoria Belfry, waltzes in late holding up the paper, announcing her entrance with a, "Regina you look gorgeous, and Cora dear you have got to check out this paper. It says this wedding is going to be the social highlight of the season."

There are various shrieks and exclamations about "of the season," and she fakes the appropriate amount of exhilaration as her mother rips the article from Victoria's hands and reads the whole thing aloud.

She couldn't care less about that, but it makes her mother happy and well, that makes her life easier.

Cora passes her the paper and it unfolds to a picture of Robin Locksley and what she knows is that old house he took her to. Based on the picture, the old house that he somehow managed to fix up into a gorgeous house and exactly what she'd pictured when she described her ideal house to him.

Time seems to stop and she stares and stares, her mind flashing with memories of a young summer romance she thought would last forever, only for him to crush her heart and never even bother to write to her. Her mother coughs sharply and she remembers she's supposed to be excited, plasters a faux smile back on to her face and squeals about how great it is that the governor is coming to the wedding.

They buy that ivory dress, but she couldn't tell you anything else that happened after she saw Robin's picture.

She thinks about him all that night, can't get him or that house out of her head. She wants to know why, why he never wrote, why he didn't try to make it work. She needs that, needs to know so she can move on and finally let go of him and give her all to Daniel. Daniel deserves so much more than what she is giving him, more than a fiancée who gets utterly obsessed and distracted from a simple picture.

She at least knows why she can't get Robin out of her head, because it never made sense to her, how they ended. She really thought they loved each other and yet one fight and it was over. They went from saying '_I love you_' to '_it's over_' in the course of four hours. After that night her parents had packed them up and moved her (against her will) back to Charlotte a whole two weeks early. She had managed to sneak off that morning they were leaving town, and gave Robin's mother their address and a hastily written note begging him to write her back if he had anything to say. She had wanted to beg for another chance, to tell him that she loved him and wanted to be with him, but her pride prevented that. She planned on writing to him from Sarah Lawrence too, but when three weeks went by and he hadn't responded she realized how pathetic it would be to write him again, when he so clearly didn't want to talk to her.

She doesn't sleep a wink that night, tosses and turns all night reminiscing and wondering how it all fell apart. At 5:23 am she comes to the conclusion she needs to take a trip, she has to see him. It's the only way he will get out of her head and she can finally move on.

She goes to Daniel's work in the morning, once she's covered the dark circles from her sleepless night. She's shown up there before, it's not that out of place, but usually he gets some warning she's coming, or she drops in around noon and asks if he wants to go to lunch. But this is mid-morning and she just has to see him, has to tell him where she's going before she goes, it's the right thing to do.

She's embarrassed when he clears three older men out of his office to see her, but he swears it's not a big deal. She feels guilty for what she is about to do which is silly, it's for him, for their relationship.

"I need to, to go away," she tells him and he is rightfully confused.

"Okay? What can I do?"

"Nothing, I just, um, I, I need to take care of a few things." And god she should tell him, but it's the middle of the workday and they've never talked about Robin. Daniel doesn't even know she's not pure, which is something she really needs to confess before the wedding, but this is not the time or place for that.

"Should I be worried?"

It's both a blessing and curse he knows her so well because he knows something isn't right which most of the time she really appreciates, but not right now. "No, I don't think so, I need to clear my head."

"That's not exactly reassuring," Daniel remarks, standing up from his desk to come closer. And he's right, she wasn't very firm on the point. He grabs her hands, looks her in the eye and asks, "Are you alright?"

She nods, forces herself not to look down and away from him, "Yeah I am, I promise, I just need to do this, to get it out my head to I can get back to focusing on the wedding, on our future."

He smiles, which makes her guilty for some reason, "Okay then I want you to go, take your time do what you need to do." He's such a good guy and she doesn't deserve it, "It's okay to be nervous, to get cold feet before the wedding."

He's a little off the mark, "No second thoughts, just overwhelmed and could use some time without my mother breathing down my neck." That's only somewhat of a lie but he eats it right up and presses a soft kiss to her lips that she returns in kind.

She tells him "I love you," before she leaves. Which she does, she loves him, she does, just not quite as much as she remembers loving Robin, and she's really hoping this trip will make her let go of that so she can open herself fully to Daniel, the way he deserves. She leaves his office with a promise to call him when she gets to Charleston, feeling a bit from the shame of hiding the truth from Daniel, even though it's for the best.

She's going to Charleston, to finally get Robin out of her head and start the rest of her life with Daniel.

* * *

_**August 1940 **_

_They trade lazy kisses still naked sitting on a blanket, another one tucked up over them. This whole night has been perfect she never wants it to end. She has no idea what time it is, but she wants to stay in the happy bubble forever, away from the reality that she is leaving soon, that in two weeks she may never see Robin again. _

_Their happy bubble is interrupted by Will running in, starling both of them by slamming the door. _

_Robin bellows, "What the hell man?" when Will enters the room as she pulls the blanket more tightly against herself, acutely aware they are both naked under it and there is no hiding what they had been doing. _

"_Look, I'm sorry," he says consciously not looking at them, and turning his back, "but Regina's parents are going crazy. They got every cop in town out looking for her."_

_Shoot, shoot, her mother is going to murder her. Oh god, this is going to be so bad, terrible. Oh lord, her mother is going to __**freak out**__. They rush to dress, she misbuttons half of her dress in her haste and then realizes how much worse it will make things if she doesn't at least try to look put together. _

"_Is there a mirror anywhere?" she asks Robin, knowing he knows this place inside and out. _

"_On the wall around the corner," he gestures holds a lantern out to her, "Take this."_

_She finds it easily enough, it's cracked and dusty but good enough to show her just how dishevelled she is. Her hair is an absolute mess, totally not salvageable, but it won't be the first time she's come home with her hair a mess, Robin loves to tangle his hands through her curls, and at least this time she had the good sense not to wear lipstick. _

_But there are a couple of red marks on her neck from the nips and sucks she'd encouraged and oh god, oh god there is no hiding those and her mother is going to kill her. _

_Once she's as presentable as she can get they rush to Robin's truck and he drives as fast as he can to her parent's house. _

_There are three police cars outside of her house when they pull up and oh god, oh god. She flies out of the car, sees her father on the step, talking to an officer. _

_She rushes up to the step and asks, "You sent the police for me?" _

_Her father shrugs, "Your mother insisted."_

_She sighs, of course she did, and of course Daddy let her. _

_As if on cue her mother walks out scolding her, "It is two o'clock in the morning. Of course, we sent the police_. _Where have you been?"_

_Robin pipes up, and it's only then she realizes he hadn't left, "Mrs. Mills, all this is my fault."_

_Her mother glares at Robin, "Would you give us a moment please?" and then grabs Regina's arm hard and drags her into the sitting room shutting the door. Regina's arm burns from the tight grip, and there is a perfect outline of her mother's four fingertips on her skin. _

_Her mother keeps her voice down, so her father, who's stayed outside to deal with the police can't hear, "I did not spend my life raising you so you could __**defile yourself**_ _with that scum and whore about all over town all summer." Her mother's words hit her like a punch in the stomach, defile yourself and whore ricocheting in her head hurting more with each repetition. Cora raises her voice, "I have never ever been so disappointed in you in my entire life." _

_And that hurts most of all, Regina's eyes burn with tears, her face hot with humiliation, as her mother continues, "You are an absolute disgrace, you disgust me. I did not raise you to be such a harlot, you will not bring this kind of shame to our family, you hear me."_

_She fights back the tears that want to flow because she will not give her mother that satisfaction. She wishes she was stronger, wishes her mother's words didn't cut at her like a sharp knife, but even though she doesn't want to she craves her mother's approval. She wants to be enough, to be loved, but she isn't and the only way she can be enough is to do exactly what her mother wants. When she doesn't, when she fails, it stings. _

_Her father walks in at that moment and she tells him, "I'm sorry, Daddy," because she is, she's sorry he was worried. _

"_You are going to stop seeing Robin," her mother says._

_Bless her father he says, "Oh come on—"_

_Her mother turns her wrath on him, giving Regina a little break, but she knows it won't last, "She is out fooling around with that boy until two in the morning and it has got to stop. I didn't spend 17 years of my life raising a daughter and giving her __**everything,**_ _so she could throw it all away on a summer romance."_

_And of course her mother keeps it nicer this time, trying to get her way with Daddy, but Regina is still burning over being called a whore and a disappointment. "Daddy, come on," he has to take her side, he __**has to. **_

_Her mother soldiers on, "She will wind up with her heart broken or pregnant. You know it Henry, this cannot go on."_

"_Cora please."_

"_No, he is—"_

_She interrupts because maybe she can get her mother to say it again, get her to show Daddy just how awful she's been, maybe her feelings can get validated for once. "He's what? He's what? Tell him Mother, or tell him what I am."_

_Her mother explodes, "He is trash, trash, trash! He is not for you."_

_Is she kidding, "Trash?" Robin is the best person she has ever met in her life, and her mother might have realized that if she didn't spend every moment pretending he didn't exist. _

"_He is a low born good for nothing piece of garbage that is going to drag you down to the dregs of society and I will not let that happen."_

_No, she will not stand for this, it's one thing to insult her, that's commonplace, it's another to insult Robin. She goes to leave but her mother grips her arm hard, nails digging in. Regina yells, "Don't touch me!" after all, if she's such a disgusting whore her mother shouldn't want to touch her, lest she become infected with Regina's immorality. _

_Her mother lets go of her arm and gives her a cold hard glare one that would normally scare her but Regina is seething so much it just fuels her ire. "That is enough young lady, you will never ever see him again and that's final."_

_She never fights her mother, but she has to, "No, it's not final."_

"_Yes it is."_

"_No, it's not!"_

"_Regina Catherine Mills you will_ _**not **__defy me like this."_

_Her mother is furious, has the glimmer in her eye that frightens Regina to her core, the one that accompanied the few slaps she's earned herself over the years, but she cannot give up on this, it's too important. "You can't control who I love, and I love him." She turns to her father offering another plea, "Daddy please, I love him."_

_Her father says nothing, just looks intensely uncomfortable and god, she wishes he was stronger, wishes he would for once stand up to her mother. _

_Her mother goes on, "You stupid girl, you are 17 years old, you don't know anything about love."_

_And that's rich, "Oh, and you do? Like you have ever been in love. You don't look at Daddy the way I look at Robin. You don't touch or laugh. You don't know __**anything**_ _about love."_

_She's had enough, she runs out the door, looking for Robin, ignoring the insults her mother is yelling at her. "Robin? Robin?"_

_She spies him reaching for the door of his truck, "Oh my God I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say. I'm humiliated."_

"_It's all right."_

"_No, it's not." Her mother yelled that trash comment knowing he could hear it and that's not okay. _

"_I'm gonna go," he says and opens the door of his truck and no, he can't leave now._

"_No, Robin, please, I don't want you to go."_

_He looks sorrowfully at her, "It's just, I have to think about some stuff."_

_What? No, No! Her mother cannot ruin this. "What do you need to think about? Come here and talk to me. Talk to me!"_

_He throws his hands up voice agitated, "About what? You're going away! You're leaving." His voice softens, "And I'm staying here. And I'm so happy that you're doing it, but you're gonna have a million things to do." No, no, no, he cannot do this. "You have so much ahead of you."_

"_Robin please, don't talk like that."_

_Her stomach drops when he slams the door of his truck and looks at her eyes blazing, but his tone is more resigned than anything else, "Why not? It's true. I'm not going to have nice things, fancy things."_

"_I don't care, that doesn't—"_

"_It's never gonna happen for me. It's not in the cards for me."_

_So what? All she wants is him. "I don't have to go to school, okay?"_

_That makes him angry, his tone is harsh and sharp, "Yes, you do."_

_She pleads, "I can stay here. I want to be with you."_

_His fists clench, "No. Do you see, that's exactly what I am talking about."_

_What is happening right now? How is this all falling apart? She doesn't know what he wants, so offers tentatively, "You can come with me."_

_He looks at her incredulously, like that's the most ridiculous thing she could have suggested and it's not, why is he being this way? How did they go from I love you's and making love to this? "To New York? What am I going to do in New York?"_

_Now she's getting angry because this night is not supposed to be like this and dammit for once in her life she thought she was enough, "I don't know, be with me? Isn't that enough?"_

"_Regina my life is here and yours isn't and we can keep pretending that all of this doesn't matter but it does." _

_Her face falls, this can't be falling apart. She feels her eyes watering again and he softens reaching for her, "We don't need to figure all this out tonight. We'll finish out the summer and we'll see what happens."_

_She flinches away from his touch, they will __**see what happens?**_ "_Are you saying you want to break it off?"_

_He shakes his head, "What I'm saying we see how it goes later on."_

_But that's the same thing and if he wants to end it he should just do it, it will kill her but it's better than staying with her out whatever perverse sense of obligation he has. But she has to be wrong, right? They love each other, he can't want to end it, he can't. She asks firmly, "Are you breaking up with me?"_

"_I don't see how it's gonna work."_

_It hits her like a punch to the stomach and her words fly out before she can think them through, "Oh hell, well if you're going to do it, why wait until the summer ends, huh? Why don't you just do it, right now? Huh? Come on. Come on."_

"_What are you doing?"_

_She's so angry, hurt, overwhelmed. He was the one person she thought was on her side and it turns out he's been planning to break her heart this whole time. "Do it! Do it! Do it right now. Do it! If it's not going to work then just end it, end it now Robin! Don't lead me on."_

"_Fine, Okay, you know what? I'm gonna do it. It's over."_

_She's so damn angry that he is willing to give up on them, isn't willing to fight to, to try. "Okay? It's over." Tears flood her eyes blurring her vision as she screams at him, "Well screw you Robin, I hate you, I hate you."_

"_I'm gonna go," he says and then gets in his truck shutting the door. _

"_Why don't you, why don't you just go? Get out. Leave! Go! Go!" she yells as he starts to drive away and then the reality of what's happening hits her as he's almost all the way down the driveway. "No, no, just wait a minute. We're not really breaking up, are we? Come on." She doesn't know if he can even hear her, but if he can he doesn't turn back._

_Her father comes out and she throws herself into his arms crying. It can't be over, not like that, they are supposed to be in love. This was a perfect day and then it all went up in flames. _


	4. Chapter 4

**August 1947**

This is stupid, so stupid, stupid, _stupid_, _**stupid**_. She berates herself the whole drive from her hotel room to Robin's. She shouldn't be here, she shouldn't _need to be here._

But she does, so here she is, driving a rental car up to the house Robin rebuilt. The house where she told him she loved him, where she gave him all of her, right before everything fell apart. She can't help but wonder what would happened if she hadn't given herself to him, if she had just went home that night, how different things might have turned out. And not because she believes her mother's nonsense that it was karmic because she behaved so lewdly but because it would have saved her that fight with her parents, and in turn that fight with Robin.

It's unhealthy to obsess over the what ifs and that's why she's here to finally put a rest to this and move on.

As she drives up she realizes the house is even more beautiful than in the picture. She parks her car and just stares for a moment, taking in the gorgeous house, Robin so artfully fixed up. She's glad he got the chance because she doesn't think anyone else would have made it this nice.

She sits in the car and tries to figure out what the hell she's going to say to him. Will he even recognize her? He should, it's only been 7 years she doesn't look that different. Her hair is a little shorter, style more mature. She looks older, but not that much older.

She'd obsessed over what to pack, and then when she arrived what to wear to meet Robin, which was stupid because why would it matter what she wore? She's not here to impress him, she's here for closure which she could get looking her worst. Even though she knows that it didn't stop her from changing three times, finally settling on this deep plum short-sleeved dress, black leather gloves and flowered hat. She looks good, professional, like a mature adult, not a lovesick teenager, not the girl she was the last time she set foot on this property.

She checks her makeup in the mirror, gathering her courage, it's flawless, her perfectly matched lipstick untouched, eyes unsmudged, not a hair out of place. She takes a deep breath in and out and then grabs the handle, getting out the car.

She shuts her door with a louder slam than she intended, not used to this rental car. She hears the door of the house open and there's Robin.

He looks the same, or almost the same, time has been good to him, made him even more handsome which she didn't think was possible. Maybe she'd diminished just how attractive he was, a sort of defense mechanism for her battered heart, a way to pretend to move on. He's for sure much more muscular than he was, her throat goes dry as she looks at his arms, muscles bulging without even flexing. When she regains thoughts other than _wow_ she remembers she'd read he rebuilt this thing with his bare hands, which is likely the source of all that muscle.

He's looking at her just as gobsmacked as she feels. His mouth opens as if to say something then shuts again. Suddenly all she can think of is his mouth on hers, of guiding his hand down and down, crying out as he brought her up and over. She lets out a shuddery breath and she's warm, much too warm.

This was a bad idea, a very bad idea.

She can't be here, she can't want him like this, she is engaged. What on earth is she doing?

She turns around and runs back to her car, Robin still staring dumbly. Oh god, oh god what was she thinking this was so stupid. She rushes to get out of here, needs to get away from him and the desire she has. She's so caught up in getting the car on and getting away she forgets to put it in reverse which only becomes apparent when she hits the gas, looking behind her and runs into the little log fence set up in front of her car.

Shoot, shoot just when she thought things couldn't get any worse, she knocks down his fence. And god what is she supposed to do now. She sits there for a second, buries her face in her hands cursing herself for being such an idiot when there is knock at the window. She looks up and there's Robin, his eyes shining with amusement and something else she, can't read. She rolls down the window, her cheeks flush with her humiliation.

He takes it all in stride and offers a laughing, "If you are done destroying my fence, I was hoping you would come in."

She offers a laugh, but it's strained, a bit hysterical. She needs to get it together, she wants to come in, she does, but that's dangerous and she shouldn't. But then again, she's already here and that is what she came here for right?

"I, um, I don't know if that's such a good idea."

Robin nods, "At the bare minimum then can you help me put these logs back up, it's kind of a two person job."

And oh god, okay yes she should do that, it is her fault. She shuts off the car and gets out, which puts her far too close to him. To take her mind off of that she asks, "Are you sure I'm going to be able to help with that?"

He looks her up and down as she tries not to wonder if he likes what he sees. He concedes, "That's probably not an outfit for fixing my fence, so tell you what, come have a drink with me, to make it up."

She shouldn't, she definitely should not, but then she's never made good decisions when it comes to Robin, so she finds herself nodding and following him into the house.

He puts on water for tea, then shows her around the downstairs. It's so different than the beaten up, two seconds from falling into the ground place it was the last time she was here. It's so beautiful, if a bit sparsely decorated, but that just makes it more him.

He takes her into the study and it's breathtaking, so many bookshelves and they are full of worn out, beaten down books. Not one is new or pristine and she just knows he's read every single one, and probably multiple times.

The kettle hisses from the kitchen and he rushes off to get it, telling her to make herself comfortable.

She reaches for the closest book, a white spine and ripped off cover. Poems of Walt Whitman reads the first page. She's struck with a memory, of going to his house late at night, pulling up her bike and hearing him read Whitman to his mother and learning about his childhood stutter and his love of reading. She was so awestruck by the beauty of his voice and those words that Robin had taken to reading or reciting poetry to her after that and earned himself a great many kisses with his odes and ballads.

He wrote his own poetry and stories too, he told her that once, but he never let anyone see his work. One time he read her something he wrote, a sonnet, about being enchanted by a young girl with dark hair. It was enchanting, and that was the moment she knew she was in love with him.

She hears him coming in with the tea and hastily shoves the book back onto the shelf, trying to pretend she wasn't just lost in memories of them.

They settle on the bench at the window, a perfect little reading nook. She sits as far away as she can, because his presence, being so close it affects her, more than it should. She should go, after this tea, she needs to leave.

They sit in relative silence both sipping and stealing glances at each other. She's on his left and switches hands for a second to scratch at the right side of her head. He stiffens beside her and when she looks over she finds him staring at the diamond on her ring finger.

And that's a good topic of conversation. "His name is Daniel Hammond, Jr."

Robin's eyebrows raise, clearly he knows the Hammonds, but who doesn't. "Hammond? As in Hammond Cotton?"

She nods, "As in Hammond Cotton."

Robin sighs, "Well, your parents must love him."

"He's a really good man, Robin. You'd really like him." She's not sure who exactly she's reassuring right now, but it needs to be said.

As if Robin knows what she's thinking he asks, "Do you love him?"

She nods, "Yeah, I do," because she does, she really does.

Robin takes in a breath and huffs it out, "So that's it. You marry Daniel and we can be…friends."

And yes, friends, they can do that. "Yeah, friends, um, that would be nice."

"Well then as a friend, you want to stay for dinner?

She shouldn't, but her mental protests are meaningless because she ends up staying.

They have real drinks with dinner, a wine he made that is much stronger than she's used to. Everything is easier with her buzz. Her guilt, the constant back and forth of why is she here is all dampened. She can just be here eating dinner with her… friend, and okay her friend she is very attracted to but that doesn't have to mean anything.

He fills her glass again and she giggles, "A couple more of these and you're gonna be carrying me right out of here."

He smirks, "Well, you go slow then, I don't want to have to take advantage of you."

She hits his arm playfully, "You wouldn't dare. I'm a married woman." She realizes it's the first time she's touched him and god is his arm ever hard and strong. It sends heat down her spine and she grabs for her glass to cover her reaction.

Robin looks equally affected and takes a sip of his drink as well before commenting, "Not yet."

"Excuse me?"

"You aren't married yet."

She scolds him, "Close enough."

He looks at her sheepishly, "Yes, you are right sorry that was inappropriate, I uh, I blame the room."

She snickers, "The room, why the room?"

His eyes are hot on hers, "Just memories... In this room."

And oh, oh, "This… is this where we… This is the room? Huh…" This is not helping that unseemly low burning pang of arousal she's been feeling (all afternoon if she's being honest).

She shakes her head, "Well that's um, you, uh did a great job with it. I wouldn't have known."

He smiles and her heart skips a beat. He mutters a quiet, "Thank you," in that soft tone he used to only reserve for her and it warms her, as it always did.

That along with all the wine fuels to her say, "It was real, wasn't it? You and me. Such a long time ago, we were just a couple of kids. But we really loved each other, didn't we?"

He nods softly, and god he's beautiful, she wants to lean in and kiss those lips. She bites at her nail and spies the ring and oh god, Daniel, what is she doing? She jumps up out of her chair with an "I should go. Goodbye," not giving him any time to protest as she soldiers out of his house.

"Regina, wait," he pleads and then grabs for her arm, not hard, a soft touch to stop her and she yields, ignoring the way her breath picks up from his simple touch. "Do you, uh, do you think you could back tomorrow morning? There's someplace I'd like to show you. Please."

She knows what she should do, what she needs to do, but she does the opposite and nods, promising she will come by in the morning. She'll give herself one more day, with no alcohol this time, one day to remember all the ways he crushed her heart and the reasons why they couldn't be together.

* * *

_**June 1940**_

_When she spies Will with Robin as she approaches the cinema with Belle she realizes she's been set up. She shakes her head as Will and Belle try and play off a what a coincidence, farce that makes it clear neither of them should go into acting. _

_She had been suspicious when Belle insisted they see 'Our Town' together, she knows the play won a Pulitzer Prize but it was not on her list of must-see films. But Belle had better sold Regina on her want to see the film and so Regina had put it out of her mind, when she obviously shouldn't have. _

"_Hi," Robin says a bit awkwardly and she wonders whether he was in on this set up, bets that he was, it was probably his idea._

_She curbs her suspicions and offers a, "Hi."_

"_It's nice to see you again."_

"_You too," she says trying not to mean it, but it is true, no matter how much she's trying to push it down she's a little excited he's here._

_He makes her smile when he tells her, "You look great."_

_Maybe her smile is just a smidge too wide when she answers, "Aw, thanks," but it was a nice compliment, so it's fine. _

"_Really, really great," he says and she giggles. "You do look great. You look great."_

_She flushes, he is adorably awkward, it shouldn't be cute but it is. To hide how charmed she is by it she simply says, "And I know I look great, so could we please go see this movie?"_

_His eyes light up with at her sass, then he's insisting on paying for her ticket, which is rather silly but she eventually relents with a caution that this still is not a date. _

_The problem is, that as the film goes on, and Will and Belle kiss and kiss beside her, she can't help but wish it was, can't help but wonder what it would be like to kiss Robin like that. Every time she reaches for into their popcorn (which she had paid for after a little argument she had enjoyed far too much) and her hand __**accidentally**_ _touches his, she feels her pulse stutter, cheeks warm. _

_His hands are firm, calloused, he's clearly a working boy, and that shouldn't make her want him more, shouldn't make her wonder what his hands would feel like on her skin. This little rebellious attraction needs to end, she only wants him because she can't have him. She will only end up hurt if she indulges it. Though he seems to want her, he doesn't, he doesn't know her, he wants the idea of her, whatever perfect version of her his mind created. She could maybe be that for him for a while, she's been groomed to be the perfect (fake) wife, but she doesn't want that with him. For some reason she wants him to know her, except that she doesn't even really know who she is, just who she isn't, the daughter her mother wants, the perfect lady, perfect future wife. _

_Maybe it's just because he's friends with Belle and Belle lets her be someone else when they hang out, introduces her to new things, lets her try and figure out who she is with no expectations. It's freeing, but it's also dangerous, makes her want more, crave new experiences, desire Robin. _

_The film is good, but she's distracted throughout, can't help but steal glances at Robin, and fight her smile when she catches him looking at her. The way he looks at her is intoxicating. She wants to know what's hiding behind those deep blue eyes. Not for the first time, she curses herself and the life she has set up for her. She can never have these things so it's stupid to even think about them._

_For the rest of the film, she forces herself not to look at Robin, and almost succeeds. When the film ends, Robin offers her his hand which she refuses, that would be playing with fire. But then, as she walks down the stairs, she trips a little and he grabs her, steadying her, asking if she's okay and it feels good. And maybe, just for tonight, she can let go of all the expectations and just see where it goes. It's thrilling and a bit terrifying, but he looks at her with such concern and kindness, so she finds herself grabbing his hand for support, as they walk the rest of the way out of the theatre. _

"_What do you say about going for a walk?" Robin asks, voice so low only she can hear him. _

_It's a bad idea, she should not be alone with him, but screw it, she's giving herself the night off from those thoughts. She's seventeen, she will have her one night of fun, away from all the expectations and pressures of a proper lady and then she will go back to her mundane life, with at least the memory of what it's like to have choices. _

_Belle and Will get into his car and then look back at them smiling proudly when Robin tells them, "We'll walk." _

_As she gives Belle a goodbye hug, she asks, "Are you sure you are okay with this?"_

_Regina laughs softly, because for the past week all she has heard from Belle is about what a good guy Robin is. It touches her, that Belle wants to make sure this is what she wants, and not just something she's doing to humour Belle. _

_She nods, "Yeah, I'm good, see you at the library tomorrow?"_

_Belle smiles broadly, "Yes, I will see you there." then whispers, "And you can give me all the details about tonight."_

_She blushes and walks back to Robin. They wave as Will and Belle drive off and then stand, silent, awkwardly. _

"_So, um—" she starts at the same time as his, "You—"_

"_Go ahead," she urges. _

"_I was just going to say you look absolutely beautiful tonight."_

_Her face warms even more, she had dressed up a bit, nothing too fancy but it's one of her favourite dresses, black with swirling patterns and coloured flowers, a red collar with three buttons—she'd had them all buttoned up when she left, for her mother's benefit but undid the top one as soon as she was out of eyesight. Her mother insists on dresses that button nearly (or for her mother ideally) all the way to the neck. That's fine in the winter, but with this hot summer weather, Regina finds herself more and more tempted to go with the style of leaving one or more undone, not indecently, just a little tease of neck. Also for her mother's benefit is the red sweater she's paired her dress with. The fabric is very light, but still a touch too warm for a southern summer, but necessary in case the air cools after the sunsets. _

"_Thank you, you look…" she trails off, fighting the urge to tell him he too looks good in his short-sleeved blue button up that shows off tanned and toned arms. "I, uh, like your…" she almost says eyes but lamely fills in, "cap." _

_God, that was pathetic, but it is a nice cap, a tweed newsboy she'd never see on the men in her circle, which is probably part of the reason she likes it. _

"_May I?" he asks extending his hand again._

_She takes it as they start to walk down the street. It's a long walk home, but it will be nice. She feels the need to fill the silence even though it's not uncomfortable so comments, "That was fun."_

"_Mm-hmm," is all he says and it seems like she'll have to lead this conversation. Surprisingly, she finds she wants to, wants to tell him things. _

_She confesses, "I haven't seen a film in ages."_

"_Really?" _

"_The last thing I saw was 'Snow White' and then before that, not since I was a little kid…" She only got to see 'Snow White' because her mother wanted to know what all the fuss was about, and since everyone was talking about the first animated film, Disney's-not-folly, her daughter had to be able to talk about it too. The only other film she ever saw was '__Alice in Wonderland' which was a Christmas gift from her father when she was ten because he knew how badly she wanted to see a film, to have that experience all the other kids had. They snuck off one day when while her mother was feeling ill, and spent the whole day together. They dressed up and he took her for lunch and then to see the film. To this day it remains one of her best memories. _

"_You, uh, don't get out much do you?" He asks as they turn off of the main street, headed toward the trail. _

_And that's the understatement of the century and why this summer of near freedom is such a blessing. "I'm busy, you know, I don't have a lot of time." She looks over at him and he actually seems interested. "I have a very strict schedule. My days are all planned out. I get up in the morning, breakfast, math tutor, Latin tutor, lunch, tennis lessons, dance lessons, sometimes both, French tutor, piano lesson, then I eat dinner. And after dinner I spend time with my family. And then l... I catch up on some reading."_

"_Wow. That's a lot."_

"_I'm, um, applying to all these colleges, Radcliffe, Sarah Lawrence, and Mother insists this is the road to success."_

"_She insists?" an oh he caught that, but of course he did, because he actually listens. _

"_She's, um, a bit… controlling." She needs to be careful here, though there is no one else out on the street right now it would be just her luck to have someone overhear her bashing her mother, she'd never hear the end of it, the rest of her life would be filled with snide comments about what an ungrateful daughter she is. _

_He looks at her thoughtfully. "So what do you do because you want to?" _

"_I'm not sure I know what you mean." _

"_Well all those things are things you __**have **__to do. What do you do for you?" Robin asks, pulling her off of the sidewalk and onto the street._

"_What are you doing?"_

_He keeps going, pulling her into the middle of the road and then stops, looking around. "There's nobody here, why not?"_

_But there could be, "Are you crazy?"_

_And apparently, he is because he sits down in __**the middle of the road**__, urging her to join him. "You cannot be serious."_

"_Come on Regina, live a little," he says and lays down. She cannot believe this is happening, he is laying down in the middle of the road like it's completely normal. This is insane, he's insane, and deluded if he thinks she's joining him, she is not doing this. _

_She looks around as he just laughs again urging her to do it. _

"_Get up," she hisses. _

"_Regina, I'm not getting up and I would like to point out that this whole time you have standing in the middle of the road."_

_She must be going nuts because all she can think is that's true and what's the harm. Slowly but surely, she sits. Then she waits a whole 60 seconds that she counts as no cars come. Only then does she lay down beside him. _

_Once she's laying down fully he grabs her hand again and she starts to laugh, because this is just absurd and never in a million years would she have thought she'd be doing this, laying in the middle of the road, with a boy._

_She screams when they hear a car coming, they jump out of the way in plenty of time but the driver yells and swears at them. She can't stop laughing, that was too funny and trying to stop only makes it worse. She's doubled over because she's laughing so hard but every time she pictures, she devolves into giggles again. By the time she's calmed down enough to only laugh every five seconds or so there are tears streaming down her face. _

_Robin brushes one away with his hand and she inhales sharply, her hysteria gone from the slight touch of his hand to her face. The air is charged and she wants to kiss him, propriety be damned, but it's not a good idea. So she grabs his hand and walks them toward the trail to her house, trying to come up with something to say. _

_Then it hits her, "Painting."_

"_What?" _

_And right, some context would probably help. "You asked me earlier what I do for me, I love to paint."_

"_Yeah?" He asks, looking over at her, so clearly interested in what she has to say, which is not something she's used to, and it takes her breath away. _

"_Most of the time, I have all these thoughts bouncing around in my head. But with a brush in my hand, the world just gets kind of quiet."_

_He's probably going to think it's stupid but that's the one thing she knows for sure about herself and who she is, a brush in her hand and the world fades away. Her mother thinks it's a useless hobby and it's her one rebellion, well that and this walk. _

"_That's how I feel with books, everything else falls away when I'm reading a good story, nothing else matters. "_

_That's it exactly and it's so nice to have someone understand it, even with a different medium. _

"_My mother hates it, it's the one thing I don't listen to her about and I think that makes it more special to me. I don't know, it's stupid."_

"_It's not stupid, and if that's the only thing you do that your parents don't like, I'd say you are doing pretty well."_

_She chuckles, "Well, I don't think they'd like this very much."_

_He laughs too, "I think you are right about that, but what about you?"_

_She narrows her eyes at him, "What about me?"_

_He smiles hopefully, "Do you like this?"_

_And she does, god she does, too much, so much so that she stops them in the middle of the trail to whisper, "I do."_

_He steps in closer and she turns so they are just a breath apart. She stares into those deep blue eyes, biting at her bottom lip in anticipation. For a second it's like time slows as he leans in and oh so gently presses his lips to hers. It's quick but it leaves her with her heart pounding, face flushing and intense desire to do it again and again._

_He asks, "And did you like that?" in a low voice that's private and intimate. _

"_I-I did," she breathes and then closes the distance herself and kisses him, wrapping her arms around his neck. One of his hands slides through her curls, making her shiver as warm soft lips meet hers over and over. _


	5. Chapter 5

**August 1947**

He has no idea what he is doing. She's about to get married, he has no idea why she's even here but now that she is he wants to interact with her for as long as he can. She said they'd be friends but he's not stupid, he knows as soon as she leaves that's it, he will never see her again, unless it's a picture of Mr. and Mrs. Hammond in the paper.

He wants to take her out on the canoe, wants to show her the swans. It's the only thing on his list they didn't get to that summer and maybe somehow, this will bring some closure. If he can just do this one last thing then maybe he can finally let go of her.

He's only a little surprised when she actually shows up. He had hoped she would but he had a lingering fear that she'd bail, go back to her 'husband to be' like this never happened.

She's absolutely stunning. Her dress yesterday was beautiful, so sophisticated, but this one, this simple button-down blue dress, her hair left in its curls, it's much more her or at least, the her he remembers.

"So, um," she starts and stops, recovering her confidence, "Why am I here?"

"I want to show you something," he says and then leads her to the dock.

He helps her into the canoe and revels in the feeling of holding her hand again, for the brief moment it takes her to get into the boat. This is bad, he's too far gone, he thought he had it bad before but now with her here, it's even worse. He's going to be a wreck when she leaves again, when she breaks his heart for the second time in seven years. This time he has no one to blame but himself, she has been nothing but friendly but his stupid bleeding heart and hopeless romanticism has clung to the fact that she's here and that that has to mean something. A silly part of him believes that this fate, that this is his chance to win her back, but it's not, like isn't like the romance novels he likes to lose himself in, past loves don't walk back into your life and give up everything to be with you.

They exchange small talk as he rows them out the spot. She tells him how much she loves the water and he can't help but remind her he already knows that.

She breathes a "Wow," when they reach the spot and all the swans come into view. He stops paddling, lets them slowly float in, closer and closer.

"You like it?" he asks even though he already knows.

"It's spectacular. It's like a dream."

He knows what she means, he felt the same way when he discovered this place as a teen, and when he came back here after returning from the war.

"Do you want to feed them?" he asks, holding up the loaf of fresh bread he stashed in the boat this morning in hopes she'd show up.

She nods, grabbing a piece from him once he's opened the bag and throwing it out into the water. She laughs happily when the swans flock toward them and lets out a little squeal of excitement (that he knows she'd deny) when after some encouragement one of them eats out of her hand.

She sighs happily as she stares at the swans, and it's such a pretty sight, them and her, he could here for hours normally, forever right now.

She breaks the silence by asking, "What are they all doing here?"

He tells her honestly, "I don't know. They're supposed to migrate."

She looks disappointed, "They won't stay here?"

"No… they'll go back where they came from."

"Hmm," is all she says then stares back out at the water, after a few minutes she muses, "You're different."

"What do you mean?"

She flushes, "Just the way you look, everything really."

He doesn't really know how to respond to that. "You look different too, but in a good way. You know, you're kinda the same though."

She smiles softly, "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

She sighs marvelling, "And you really did it."

His brow knots, "What?"

She looks down into the water, dropping her hand into it. "Everything. The house... it's beautiful what you did."

He shouldn't say it but the words flow out without him controlling it, "Well, I promised you I would."

And oh god, shit, he told himself he wasn't going to do this. A crack of thunder saves him. "Oh great, rain, we have to go."

He paddles them in as fast as he can while she says nothing. It starts to rain when they are halfway back and he feels bad he doesn't have anything to keep her warm and dry. He wonders what she's thinking, her face revealing no trace of whatever it is she's thinking so intently about.

He helps her onto the dock and expects her to run inside while he ties off the canoe. Instead, she waits there and when he steps up she asks, "Robin! Why didn't you write me? Why? It wasn't over for me. I waited for you for seven years. And now it's too late."

What? What is she talking about, he's the one who waited, she's the one who didn't write _him_. "I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you every day for a _year."_

Her mouth opens, and her tongue peeks out to wet her lips before she asks in shock, "You wrote me?"

He nods, "Yes."

He can't believe she is this gorgeous dripping wet in the pouring rain. She's the most beautiful woman he's ever seen in his entire life and time has only made her more so. That thin dress is clinging to her like a second skin, her hair in thick flattened tendrils, make up washes away save for a bit of darkness under her eyes. This is the Regina only he ever got to see, and he loves it.

He's walking toward her, getting closer as she starts and trails off, "You…"

"It wasn't over." He's so close to her, he practically feels her breath but she doesn't move away, this is wrong, so wrong but screw it, this is his only opportunity, he's not going to let her go without a fight. "Regina, it still isn't over."

He closes the distance between them and kisses her, it feels like coming home, surrender. She's kissing him back just as hard and it hurts to know this could be it, the last time, but if it is he's going to make it the best it can be.

* * *

This is so wrong, but _so good._ As his lips crash over hers again and again, the rain pouring down on them, she decides no matter what they need to get inside. And god she doesn't want to stop kissing him, ever. She can't remember the last time she felt kisses this much, ones that felt this desperate and needy. She doesn't think it's ever been this good, ever before. She shouldn't be doing this but it feels incredible and well, she's already kissed him, so what's a few more. They will kiss out all of this raw unbridled passion they never got to let out and that will be it, she'll leave.

She slowly backs up the dock intent on getting inside but doesn't want to lose the feel of his lips on hers, not this last time. He takes the hint because he scoops her up in those strong arms she's been admiring, his lips never leaving hers. She threads her arms more firmly around his neck, wraps her legs around his waist and oh god this bad, but so good. She can feel him hard against where she is wet, and not just from the rain.

She tells herself she's only this close, only plastered to his front to help him get her inside. She lies to herself the whole trip inside, as their kisses grow even needier and the slickness between her thighs grows and grows. She wants him so badly, and the erection pressed up against her tells her he needs her just as much.

She shouldn't have kissed him back because now she never wants to stop. When he throws open the door and presses her against the wall, pressing predatory kisses down her neck, nipping in that way that makes her thighs clench and belly heat, she realizes she's not going to. They've already come this far, there's no stopping now (except she knows if she really wanted to he'd stop in second but that knowledge only makes her want him more).

She's past the point of caring, past the point of thinking about what this means, she needs him, needs him to make her come and that is all that matters.

His one hand slides from groping her butt to thumb over her oh so sensitive nipple, sending pleasure rippling down her spine. She throws her head back, moaning, which makes him thumb harder over it, suck harder at her neck and oh god, oh god, she _needs to come_. She is so wet, aching for more attention. She shifts her hips a little trying to get some friction against where she needs it but only succeeds in slipping down the wall and having to grasp her legs and arms more tightly against him.

That hand, the one that is driving her half mad with bliss, shifts and she whines a little protest that dies on her lips when he deftly unbuttons the top buttons of her dress so it falls to her shoulder and feasts on her exposed chest. His hand slides under her bra, the sudden direct stimulation makes her cry out, makes her clit throb and god she needs something, anything down where she is wet, aching and needy.

"Ro—_oh god_," her plea is cut off by him pushing her bra aside and sucking her other more sensitive nipple. Heat streaks through her and that pressure, that need to come grows exponentially.

She is a moaning mess but that raw passion between them is making everything more and she can't wait any longer, it's too much, she needs him.

"Robin, please," she begs and then groans when he stops.

"Please what? Tell me darling, tell me and it's yours." She moans at that, can't help it.

She tells him, "take me to bed," and his '_Oh yes, please darling' _is music to her ears.

He carries her up the stairs and by the time they are in the bedroom he's lost his shirt and her bra is gone, her dress nearly off.

He throws her onto the bed and she shrugs her wet dress the rest of the way off throwing it off of the bed so it doesn't soak the sheets, and discards her soaked panties the same way. She should hang it so she will have something to wear later but Robin's tugging at his pants and there are more important things to be focusing on.

He strips the rest of the way and god, he is so hard and ready it makes her clench. She expects him to climb on top of her and have his wicked way with her but instead, he grabs her legs pulling them to the edge of the bed and kneels.

He plants kisses up her thighs making her twitch and gasp. Her mouth goes dry, belly gets even tighter in anticipation when she realizes where he's headed with his mouth. He kisses all around where she really needs him as she writhes and pleads for more.

This is so, so good and he hasn't even touched her where she really needs yet. It's exquisite torture. Then his finger slips inside her, one then two, testing around until he hits a spot that has her choking back moans, has pressure growing in her lower belly.

"There?" he asks and all she can do is moan.

Then he lowers his mouth to suck at her clit and she cries out, pleasure swamping her, toes curling, hips twisting under the onslaught, his other hand holding her to him. Oh god, oh god, it's intense and fantastic, she can't do anything but feel. How has she gone this long without feeling this? Lord, she's close, she's so close, the tension coiling tighter and tighter and it's going to be amazing.

She's babbling, broken half sounds because it's just so—oh god.

She is shaking, twitching and spasming because it's too good and she can't hang on, can't do anything but feel, her nerve endings are on fire, aching for relief, for release. Her whole body surrenders on his next lick and she flies over the edge. She's loud but uncaring because it is sublime. She comes and comes on his tongue, the waves of sheer bliss flowing on and on and then cresting in one last explosion of pleasure that leaves her panting and shaky.

"Oh my god," is all she can pant out, and it's all breath, "oh my god, wow."

He smirks, then bites at that lower lip, that's wet, from her. That shouldn't turn her on, it should not, but boy does it ever. That need he just sated flares back up as he scans her naked body shamelessly.

He slides up the bed, her shuffling up a bit to accommodate him as he devours her lips. He tastes like what must be her, which makes her moan into his mouth. He kisses her more desperately and she can feel him, hot and hard and she wants him, needs him inside her, _now._

He nips at her neck at again, has her panting and huffing and god it's incredible. Why has she been denying herself this? She wonders for a fleeting second if it would be this good with Daniel but she pushes that aside before her guilt can swarm her.

To put it out of her mind she grabs onto Robin's butt, gropes for a second feeling the hard muscle twitch and then pushes him into her. They both moan as he grinds against where she's still so sensitive.

He pants an "Are you sure?" and the unsteady tone of his voice coupled with his dark lust filled eyes thrills her.

"Oh god yes."

That seems to be all the encouragement he needs. He lines himself up with her and sinks in with a groan. It is so much better than the first time, no discomfort, no pressure, just good. He starts to move, shifts a bit, makes everything heat up and she was wrong, it's not good it's superb. This has to be what heaven feels like.

He kisses her as he starts taking her hard and fast, a pace that has them both moaning. She feels herself tightening, approaching the edge. She needs more to get there, needs something on her clit, but it feels so good she doesn't want to lose this feeling. She hovers on that edge lost in the sensation until the need to break the tension is too great and she wedges a hand between them, gasping at how amazing it feels.

"Oh god yes darling do that," Robin urges, watching her hand and where they are joined. She thinks maybe she ought to be embarrassed but then he hits just the right spot and she circles over her clit faster and she can't think. Waves and waves of hot pleasure bloom out from her centre, flooding her whole body, making her shake and shiver, sensation rushing out until she can't take it anymore and her hand falls away.

Robin slows, still buried inside of her, shifting the mood a little, letting her recover. He kisses her softly, languidly as she slowly comes back to herself.

He slides out of her and she groans, protesting.

"Flip over, trust me, darling," he urges and she does trust him, so she does. She flips onto her belly and waits, heat filling her belly again as she imagines him taking her hard, again.

"On your knees love," he says in a tone that _does things _to her, gripping her butt with one hand and urging her up onto her knees.

He sinks back into her with a moan as she cries out. She loses herself to the sensation on him, thrusting in and out, slow at first but building as the heat in her lower belly does. God, it's good, the angle fantastic. She thinks she might come again, just from this, but then his hand slides down her back and over her clit and she _moans_ twitching, arching and _oh god._

"You okay?" he asks.

And she nods then pants, "Yesss," remembering he can't really see her face. This is good, oh god, this is… holy lord it's wonderful. She can't do anything but cry out and revel as the pressure builds and builds.

He lowers his mouth to his ear and asks, "Are you going to come for me darling? Want to feel you come on me. Will you do that for me?"

"I—ah, god—yes, Robin, mmm."

She is right there and then he bites her earlobe as his hand works her over faster and that's it, it's exactly what she needs. She cries out as she comes hard. She comes and comes for what feels like forever, and she's only vaguely aware of him urging her on, too consumed by the pleasure to really register what's happening.

When she starts to come down she hears him groan and pant, and then she's flooded with warmth. He pulls her onto her side, still buried inside of her, planting kisses down her neck as they both settle.

That was absolutely incredible.

* * *

He wakes up to Regina Mills in his bed, still passed out from their impromptu midday snooze, induced by multiple rounds of vigorous sex. He'd lavished her body with as much pleasure as she could handle, her pleasure spurring his, until she collapsed beside him, breathless and dishevelled, too exhausted to continue. Waking up with her is something he never thought would happen, dreamed of often, but never thought he'd experience in reality. And the reality is so much better.

She can't leave after this, she can't, not after that. Except that he knows deep down she will. This is not a romance novel, it's real life and people don't change their whole life over one night of passion. He's in love with her, still, never fell out, but it's been seven years. He is not the same person he was at twenty when they met and she is not the same seventeen year old girl.

They have years of experiences that have shaped and changed them and while they are still sexually compatible, still drawn to each other that doesn't mean this would work. But he is desperate to know whether it could, desperate for a chance to find that out, unfettered by parent's wishes or fiancées.

This, her being here, it's a little bubble where nothing bad can happen, but outside of this bubble there is a reality he does not want her to return to. But he can't ask that of her, can he? It's been seven years and he wants her to throw her whole life away to be with him, it's crazy. It's exactly what he tried to stop her from doing during that stupid fight, the reason he said they should end it. So how can he now ask that of her now, he can't! But god does he ever want to.

She has a fiancée, who she says she loves, but if that's true what the hell is she doing here with him. Is she getting him out of her system so she can go marry Daniel Hammond? Is she even going to tell Daniel what happened? Does she want to end with him, is this just an excuse to end that? He has so many questions that he's scared to know the answers to. The only thing he knows is that he wants to be with her, but there is only the slightest of chances that is going to happen.

Whatever happens he's going to make the most of their time together, however short it is. He wants to have her again, his desire for her insatiable, but they should probably eat first, fuel up before another workout.

He slides out of the bed, careful not to disturb her, throws on some clothes and heads downstairs.

He's staring into the fridge, deciding what to make when he hears a car pull up. When he spies Tink's car he remembers their 'date' which had been totally forgotten as soon as Regina showed up. Shoot, this is bad, and while they aren't anything he does not want her to meet Regina.

He rushes out the kitchen, meeting her on the porch before she can knock on the door and wake Regina. Tink is startled by his actions but greets him with a kiss to the cheek that he flinches away from.

"Robin, what's going on?"

"I, um, I've got company."

She glares at him, "And you didn't bother to call."

"I'm sorry, I honestly forgot you were coming."

She's looking at him suspiciously and her eyes zoom in on something on his neck (a mark probably, Regina had spent some time on a hot spot on his neck) and then her face softens with understanding, "It's her, isn't it."

He's pretty sure Tink knows but doesn't want to admit it in case he's wrong. "I… don't know what you mean."

She shakes her head in exasperation, "Don't play dumb with me Robin, it's Regina isn't it, she's here, finally after all these years."

He should have went with his gut, Tink is bright and she knows him so well. "Yes, she is, and that's why, listen I'm sorry, I need you to go."

But she doesn't give in like he expected instead asks, "Can I meet her?"

And oh no that's a terrible idea, how exactly would he introduce them '_Hi Regina here's the other woman I sleep with from time to time but don't worry it doesn't mean anything'_. "I don't think that's a good idea Tink."

She persists, "I'd really like to meet her, I've heard so much about her, just for a second and then I'll go."

"I—"

He turns as he hears the door open and there's Regina, clad in one of his white button downs and a pair of shorts he recognizes as Tink's that she leaves here to sleep in on the nights she doesn't feel like driving home right away. He feels his face flush a little at how obvious it is what they had been up to, and even though Tink had made it pretty clear she knew, suspecting and having proof are two different things.

Regina extends a hand to Tink with a bright smile, the picture of good manners, "Hi, I'm Regina."

Tink smiles warmly back, ignoring Regina's attire. "Bella, but I'm close friends with Belle so all my friends call me by my last name, Tink."

"Pleasure to meet you Tink."

"And you as well, I've heard so much about you."

"I wish I could say the same, but I haven't been here long."

Tink laughs, "I doubt I would be a topic of conversation, but um, you guys are busy, I should let you be, I'm sure you have lots of _catching up _to do."

And thank god but Regina shakes her head, "No why don't you stay? We were just about to have dinner, I'd love to get to know you better, that is if my appearance doesn't bother you, we got caught up in the rain earlier and my dress is still wet.."

He gives Tink a look that screams do not accept but she ignores it with a, "I'd love that." Regina smiles and walks back into the house, with them following.

Tink whispers a, "those shorts look much better on her than me," to him that has that blush popping up again. He's grateful she kept that comment between them, because who Tink is to him is a conversation he'd prefer not to have.

The dinner is not at all what he expected. Regina and Tink get along famously, and they all end up laughing more than anything else. If Regina knows something was going on between him and Tink she doesn't show it, or doesn't let it bother her, but really it's not as if she can judge.

When they've finished eating and Regina refuses Tink's help with the dishes, Tink decides it's time to go. She and Regina hug goodbye and he walks her out to her car.

For the second time that day Tink surprises him, as soon as they are out of earshot of the kitchen window she tells him, "She's sensational. She really is, I thought she couldn't be all that you had described but she is. You need to hang onto her Robin, she is special. It's been seven years and yet you two look at each other like two people very much in love. You've been given a second chance, don't throw it away Robin."

Because he has no one else to talk to about this he confesses, "I don't know what to do."

Maybe it should be to discuss this with her, but it's Tink they aren't romantic so it's not awkward, and she knows how he's struggled to get over Regina. "Fight for her Robin, if you let it this can be your happy ending. Don't let anything hold you back. This is the beginning of your happiness. All the pain in your past will be just that, in the past."

He wants to do that but he can't or can he? He doesn't know what to do. "It's too late, we're different people now, and… she's marrying someone else. I can't compete."

"The universe is giving you a second chance, don't waste it. There is nothing I wouldn't give for a second chance with my husband but that's not in the cards for me, but this is for you. This is your chance for love and happiness Robin."

But is it really or is it just another opportunity to have his heart crushed. "I—what if she doesn't want me."

"She does, maybe you can't see it, too lovesick and blinded, but I can, and if I'm wrong, though I know I'm not, you can come on over and drown your sorrows in a bottle of whiskey. Hell, I will even have your baby, that's how certain I am that I'm right."

He raises his eyebrows at that because she knows how much he wants kids, but doesn't want romance so has felt stuck. So much so that once when he was drunk he asked her to have his baby. And shoot, he and Regina didn't talk about it but she must have that taken care of, she's engaged and wouldn't have let him come inside her if she wasn't protected, he hopes (except a small part of him that hopes she doesn't but trapping her by getting her pregnant is not how he wants to do this).

Tink moves on from that pretty quickly considering what a big deal it is, "You have to try, or you will regret it for the rest of your life. Don't back down from the fight. Fate has brought you two back together, it's like… It's like you are destined to be together."

He laughs, "I think someone's been reading too many romance novels."

"We both know that's more your thing than mine," He chuckles because yes, that's true and she loves to make fun of him for it. "Think about it Robin, it's been seven years and now she just happens to make her way back into your life, call it what you want but it's a sign. And I swear if you don't fight for this I will come murder you myself, you got it."

"I want to, I do, but isn't that selfish?" He'd be asking her to give up her whole life and what move to Charleston to be with a man that can't give her even half as much as a Hammond. She deserves that life, she deserves the world.

"Oh my god Robin who cares? For once in your life do the selfish thing, go after what you want regardless of what happens. Channel that twenty year old boy who flirted with the most unattainable woman he could find. Going after what you want is how you got her the first time, and it's how you are going to keep her."

She's right, she's so right and he thanks her, grabbing the door for her and promising he will let her know how it all turns out. He was enraptured with Regina from the first time he met her and if he had just given up they never would have gotten together in the first place. He needs to fight, like he did for that date.

* * *

_**May 1940**_

_He's minding his own business, trying not to crowd Belle and Will on their date at the county fair. He wasn't even going to come but there's an archery contest with a chance to win $2 and, as Will had rightly pointed out, what else was he going to do? The problem is, he's a bit of a third wheel, while Belle and Will swear he's always welcome with them and that it's not an issue, he wishes he had someone. _

_Everywhere he looks there are couples, people courting hand in hand, shy flirting, yearning gazes. He wants that, wants that feeling he's only ever read about. He's had a couple of small crushes, appreciates the female form, but never the instant connection that all great literary romances seem to share. _

_Epic love stories are his guilty pleasure, he's been a reader ever since he can remember. At first, it was an escape, a way to entertain himself without having to talk to anyone. For a while it became work. His mother knew what he was doing, and smartly used his love of books to help him overcome that stutter that had made him retreat into them. And now books are still an escape, he loves to get lost in a story but he has a life outside of them, a life that's only missing one thing. _

_Will had suggested he might find the one, here, at the county fair, but he seemed to have missed the memo that this was the event where everyone comes in pairs. Even John, one of his closest friends who always likes to come stag and 'find someone', brought a girl with him. _

_So no, this is not going to be the place where he finds someone, this is just another event where he'll be by himself, tamping down the jealousy over his friends' successful relationships. The day isn't a total waste though, he's entered the archery contest and with the people who have entered so far he has no competition, that $2 is his, almost a full day's pay just from shooting a couple of arrows. _

_Will grabs them all some lemonade, a penance for his mistake, that Robin is more than happy to take. He's sipping on the cool sweet lemonade when sees her. To some, she may be nothing out of the ordinary, average height, maybe shorter, a small frame, dark hair that's down in loose curls, in a simple red long sleeve dress buttoned all the way up, down past her knees. She's the picture of class and elegance, way out of his league. She's absolutely stunning, takes his breath away. _

"_Who is that?" he finds himself asking, his eyes never leaving gorgeous brunette on the arm of a man he can't stand, Keith Nottingham._

"_Regina Mills," Belle answers, and Regina, queen, god it's a beautiful name and it suits her. He's enraptured, wants to know her, know all about her. He feels this inextricable pull to her that only intensifies when her soft brown eyes meet his. He should be embarrassed for getting caught staring but instead, his heart flutters and he smiles, waving awkwardly. _

_She laughs at him, arching her brow before turning back to her date, a shadow of that captivating smile still visible on her face. _

_Keith Nottingham is a rich asshole who thinks he's better than everybody because his family has so much money. Girls fawn over him and it makes Robin sick to see how horribly Keith treats them. He doesn't know this girl, Regina—but god does he want to—but he knows she's too good for Keith._

_He doesn't know what compels him to do so but he finds himself walking over to them, ignoring Keith's sneer of, "What are you doing Robin?" in favour of offering his hand to Regina. _

_She looks at him quizzically, leaves him with his hand outstretched until he offers an, "I'm Robin, pleasure to meet you milady."_

_Then she smirks and takes his hand, her grip slight and dainty, practiced, the epitome of a perfect lady. "Regina Mills."_

_God is she ever beautiful, even more so up close, and there's an impishness bubbling under the surface she's not quite hiding. _

"_You sure stare a lot," she muses teasingly and he flushes red. _

"_I, uh, only because you are the most stunning woman I've ever seen."_

_And it's true but she's not buying it. "I bet you say that to all the girls." Keith snorts beside her, grabbing her so they are arm and arm._

_She looks annoyed by the show of possession and he says, "What other girls?"_

_Keith bellows then, "Too true, Robin here has never had a lass, now come on Regina, we've spent far too much time associating with the dregs of society, let me take you to people on our level."_

_With that Keith drags her away, she goes willingly, but she turns back to look at him and when she finds him still starring as she offers a cute almost wink that makes his heart flutter. _

_He knows virtually nothing about her, but man, has he got it bad. _

_He looks around for Will and Belle, happy to see they are still at the Lemonade stand. Belle knew her name, so he's hoping she knows more about Regina. Belle always seems to know everything about everyone, she's so nice, sweet and very easy to talk to, a warm open face that seems to lead people to share with her. _

"_What do you know about her?" He asks when he gets back to them, ignoring the amused grins on their faces._

_Belle tells him, "She's here for the summer with her family. They bought that old plantation on the outskirts of town by the water, as their new summer home. They used to go to stay in Charlotte, that's where she's from, but her dad wanted a change, to enjoy a smaller town summer."_

"_Her Dad has more money than God," Will adds. "Her mom is a Rockefeller, a piece of work. I heard her yell it at Granny when Granny made her wait her turn. She was mad, I haven't seen her in there since."_

_And that's great, so he has no shot, none whatsoever, he'll never be accepted into a family like that. He works at the mill making 40 cents an hour. He has nothing to offer her. Still, he can't help but want her, want to get to know her, see what makes her tick, learn what she does for fun, what she thinks of their societal divide. _

"_She's really nice," Belle tells him which isn't surprising because everyone is nice to Belle. "We met at the store, her first week here and she's not like her mom, we chatted for a bit and have seen each other since, she doesn't care that I'm a schoolteacher, told me herself she doesn't care about high society, good people are good people, and there's so few of them in __**her circle**_."

_So he has a shot then. He just wants to talk to her, to know what she's like. She's stunningly beautiful and seems smart and caring but she could easily be completely different from what he expects. The best he can probably be is her friend but he really has nothing to lose. _

_So when they go over to the field where the archery competition is happening and sees her, without Keith, he talks to her. _

"_Hi."_

"_Hi, Robin was it?" she asks with a smirk, "I probably shouldn't call you what I think in my head." _

"_Oh and what's that?"_

_She lets out a soft little laugh, her hand raising to cover her mouth and then tells him, "Staring boy."_

_He laughs too because that's fair he deserves it, and it could be worse it's not_ _**creepy staring boy.**_

"_I can't help it, I've never seen someone so gorgeous and I can't help but wonder what a girl you like you is doing with a guy like him." He says, gesturing over to Keith who's off in the corner with his buddies, not very subtly downing the contents of a flask. _

"_Maybe I like him."_

_He shakes his head. "No, I don't buy it."_

_She huffs, "Well even if I don't like him, that doesn't mean I like you."_

_She's sassy and he loves it so he sasses right back, "Mm but I think you do."_

"_What makes you think you know me so well?"_

"_Just a hunch," she smiles which fuels him to say, "Go out with me."_

"_What?"_

"_Go out with me, just once, let me take you out."_

_She's laughing as she tells him, "No," so he keeps pushing. If it was firm no he'd have shut up but she seems to be enjoying this. _

"_Why not?"_

"_Because I don't want to," she says but not very firmly and her eyes are twinkling. _

_God, she's beautiful. Maybe he's reading this all wrong but at the very least he's entertaining her while her date gets drunk so he continues, "What do I have to do to get you to go out with me? What will it take?"_

_She looks around, pondering her options and whispers, "If you can win this archery competition, then I'll do it, then I'll go out with you." And oh yes that's good, he was going to win anyway this is too perfect he almost feels bad accepting until she adds, "But if you lose, you have to run around this whole place, naked."_

_He snorts, "You don't have to use a bet to see my naked body, all you have to do is ask."_

"_Who says I want to see that, I just want to embarrass you. So ready to bow out?"_

_He shakes his head vehemently, "Not a chance, you are on."_

_She giggles, "Well then you'd better go enter, the competitions about to start."_

_He smirks at her, "Well then it's a good thing I entered this morning."_

_She gasps her face screwing up but before she has the chance to respond, his name is called from Tommy the organizer and he runs off with a, "Wish me luck."_

_He looks for her after his test shots and sees her standing right at the front of the line with Keith watching, Belle and Will beside them. Most of the competitors are god awful, two don't even manage to hit the target but one guy manages hits a bullseye and he realizes it's Tommy's son. Shit, he does have competition, this was rigged so they wouldn't have to make the payout, but he's damn good so he should be able to win. _

_He hits the centre perfectly which leaves him and Tommy's son Mark tied for first. They obviously weren't expecting it, which makes sense, in a small town like this, it's rare to have an archer let alone two. _

_It's a hobby he picked up by chance, someone was getting rid of a bow and his mom wanted him to try an outdoor activity, thought he might enjoy it, and boy did he ever. He still has that ratty old bow, but also a newer one at home, and various targets he's put together to make things more interesting. _

_The crowd gets rowdy as the organizers decide what to do. They give them three shots each and since Mark went first before, he gets to choose first or second. _

_Mark goes first and his first two shots, are in the centre, not dead centre but good enough, enough that Robin's watching with bated breath as Mark draws his bow for the third shot. _

_But Mark's over-confident, hasn't factored in where the other two arrows on the target are in relation to the centre (both are to the right) and as soon as he lets his third arrow go, aiming too far to the right Robin knows it won't hit the centre and that he has a shot. _

_He's nervous as he stands for his shots once they've removed Mark's arrows. He can make three perfect shots, he's done it before, many times but not with this kind of pressure. _

_He looks over at Regina, sees her smile at him. He winks at her then lets everything fall away, it's just him in his backyard seeing how many perfect shots he can make. He tunes out the cheers when the first lands perfectly, lines up the second just a hair to the right of it and then the third just a hair to the left. The crowd roars when the third shot ends up perfectly lined up with the other two, one dead centre and two on each edge._

_He cheers because he won and as much as he's excited about the $2 he's way more executed to use his winnings to take Regina out. _

_He finds her once he gets his money and escapes all of the congratulations._

_He saddles up beside her ignoring Keith again and asks, "So when's my date."_

"_Um do you mind?" asks Keith but Regina tells him, "I've got this."_

_She turns to Robin, eyes narrowed. "Uh uh, you didn't play fair."_

"_Whatever do you mean?"_

"_You knew you were going to win, you'd already entered."_

"_You never asked me if I was good at archery," he points out trying and failing not to be smug._

"_Yeah well I'm not going out with you," she says then grabs Keith's hand and starts walking away._

"_Come on," he urges at her back, uncaring if he's making a scene, "You promised."_

_If she hears him she ignores him, but he's not worried, he has the whole summer to get to know her and he's sure they will see each other again. _


	6. Chapter 6

**August 1947**

Robin is still asleep when she wakes up, and he looks so peaceful she can't bear to disturb him. She stretches languidly in the bed, shoulder popping, neck cracking, as she shakes off her slumber. Her legs are tight, so tight, muscles overworked and unused to be used in that way. She needs to stretch her legs too but there's not quite enough room for that.

She gets out of the bed feeling a little chill. It's warm inside and will only only get hotter as the sun comes up, but it's not the snug warmth of being buried under the sheets with Robin. She lunges on each leg, feels some of the tension pull and hopes walking around will loosen up the rest of it.

She'd hung up her wet clothes after dinner last night, and something about the way she'd been stretching to put the clothes on the line had been 'painfully sexy' and they had found themselves wrapped up in each other yet again. They made their way back to his bed eventually, and collapsed exhausted after a further round. She needs to go get her dress, and her undergarments, so throws his shirt back on to go grab them. There's really no need for the shirt because there is no one around for miles, but walking outside to the clothesline naked just seems to be asking for trouble.

As she makes her way down the stairs she notices a tender aching soreness between her legs, it seems she's a bit raw from all of the lovemaking yesterday. That was so irresponsible, they took no precautions to a prevent a baby. While the idea of Robin's baby is rather nice, that would only serve to even further complicate this situation. So the soreness is probably a good thing because they need to take a break from that, to talk and they've been a little too preoccupied with the passion to do that.

Part of the problem is she doesn't know what to say, it's been easier to forget about everything and just feel. She's made a total mess of her whole life and now she has no idea what to do. She wants to be with Robin, stay in this bubble, but that's ridiculous, a summer romance seven years ago and a day of passion are not worth throwing your entire life away. Are they? No they can't be that's stupid. And this, these past few days have been a little bubble, nothing like what a life here would be.

And she loves Daniel she does, and she doesn't love Robin, she can't love him, they barely know each other now. She's just attracted to him, has residual feelings for him… deep ones, it's the nostalgia and the memories that make this feel so much more. But all that is fleeting and not enough. It can't be.

She stresses about it as she pulls her clothes down. She's just grabbed the last piece off of the line when she hears a car pull up. She tries to peek around the corner but can't see anything so slides in the backdoor.

She hears the knock and debates whether or not she should answer the door. She shouldn't—she's in his shirt for god's sakes and worse, with nothing underneath—but the knocking grows more insistent and she doesn't hear any moving upstairs.

She sighs, slips on her underwear so she's at least wearing those to greet whomever this is. She's sure she looks terrible but it's 9:30 in the morning so what else is to be expected.

When she opens to the door to find her mother she wishes she'd never opened it. She slips outside, shutting the door behind her so they can talk on the porch without alerting Robin. Her mother looks her up and down one eyebrow arching in disapproval. She remembers how badly her mother reacted the first time she slept with Robin, which Cora didn't even have proof of, and she wonders how much worse this will be. Shoot this is going to be so bad, why is her mother here, why must she ruin _everything_.

Her mother tssks her disapproval and then without a greeting advises, "Daniel's on his way."

And great, just great, she knows he's only coming because her mother sent him, she knows it. She manages to keep her voice steady, asks an icy question instead of fully snapping at her, "Here, here? Or to Charleston?"

Her mother is oh so pleased with herself as she answers, "I'd imagine he'll swing by your hotel first but I gave him this address in case he couldn't find you."

How dare she. Regina didn't tell her parents where she was going for a reason because she didn't want this, didn't want her mother interfering and now look at it. And god, Daniel, what in the hell is she doing. God this is terrible, she's terrible and lord this is bad, so so bad. She distracts herself from the building panic long enough to ask, "How did you know I was here?"

"I saw your face when you saw his picture" and of course she won't dignify Robin by saying his name, "so when I called you apartment the next day and you didn't answer I called Daniel. I gave you two days to come home and come to your senses but when Daniel told me he hadn't heard from you at all yesterday I knew I had to tell him, and clearly, I shouldn't have waited so long."

"And what… you told him to come here?" What exactly was her her mother thinking?

"No he made that decision all on his own once I told him about your summer romance."

Oh god, Daniel knows all about Robin and her mother's version, oh god. Her mother is absolutely infuriating. Why would she do this? She wants Regina to marry Daniel and this could mess that god how is Daniel going to react, how could she have done this to him, he doesn't deserve it. "Well, that's great. That's just terrific. You, me, Robin and Daniel one big happy family." Her mother in unfazed which only makes her madder and then she remembers something that makes her even angrier because it had to be her mother, it had to be. "Tell me about the letters, Mother."

Her mother doesn't blink, her face giving away no sign of whether she knows what Regina means. She asks, "Is it true? Did Robin write to me?"

Her mother sighs, "Yes."

Anger surges because, "You watched me cry myself to sleep for months and months and you never said anything. How could you do that? Because of you, my entire life is ruined!"

Cora scoffs, "Okay, yes, I stole your letters. I fail to see how your life is ruined. Stop being dramatic and at least take some of the responsibility. You came down here. You knew what you were doing. You knew this would happen."

She can hear the words under the surface, the insults her mother is thinking but hasn't voiced yet. "Oh, so now I'm a tramp? You are unbelievable. Unbelievable."

"What is unbelievable is that I have to come here and warn my daughter that her fiancée is coming so that she has a chance to make herself presentable and pretend she hasn't been whoring around with another man for the past two days."

"Lower your voice," she hisses, because as far as she knows Robin is still sleeping.

But that of course only makes her mother louder, "This lewd behaviour has got to stop. You'd better pray Daniel will take you back now that you've sullied yourself again, but perhaps you've picked up some skills you can deploy on him to _make him stay_. Lord knows what kind of shame you will bring this family otherwise. We were lucky you didn't end up pregnant last time but I will disown you and throw you out to the street if you end up with a _bastard child._ So you had better use whatever means necessary to get Daniel Hammond to marry you."

She gasps, "Mother."

The door opens to Robin who clearly heard that, but pretends not to have. "Mrs. Mills," he asks wrapping his arm around her waist, "To what do we owe the pleasure."

Her mother's eyes narrow and then she sighs, "I was just leaving actually."

She knows her mother expects her to follow but she doesn't, stays firmly planted in Robin's arms until her mother drives off. Then buries her face in his shoulder and quells her anger.

* * *

He's worried, he thought they'd have time to talk today but then Cora showed up yelling about Daniel and bastard children, making Regina all antsy.

He has to tell her how he feels, that he wants to be with her, before she runs off and he never sees her again. Tink was right, he has to take that chance.

Regina swallows heavily. "D-aniel's on his way." Shit. That is not good, he thought he'd have more time. "I, um, I should go."

He grabs her arm, he needs more time. "Regina, please, stay, just… just stay for breakfast please."

He makes them a quick breakfast as Regina frets, just some oatmeal to tide them over as he tries to figure out what the hell to say to her. This is it his one shot and if he screws this up it's over and for good this time.

They eat in silence both eating as quickly as possible, the tension in the air palatable.

He breaks the silence, "I didn't want you to throw your life away for me, I wanted you to go to college, and you scared me with your 'I'll just not go' and that's why… but I didn't want it to be over and that's what I wrote you. I wrote you to say that I was sorry and that I understood if you never wanted to see me again but that I did love you and ending it like that was a mistake. We'd never fought before and I surprised myself with that but I… I wasn't going to let you throw that opportunity away—"

"That wasn't yours to decide, it was mine, but you took that choice away from me. I'm not saying I would have chosen that, but you _knew _what having choices meant to me, after a life of being deprived of them."

She's not wrong but if he's not careful they will go in circles about the past when they need to talk about the future. "Well here we are, now it's seven years later and I want to, I want to ask you to throw it all away. But I have to know, what do you want Regina?"

She looks at him conflicted, "I don't know."

"Do you really not know or are you just scared about what you want. Because if what you really want is Daniel I will shut up and let you go but if there is even a chance you want me I'm going to fight for it, for us."

She bunches her napkin in her hands. "I… Robin I can't."

"Can't what? Regina what do you want?"

"I… I don't know," she looks so young and scared he almost feels bad for the surge of anger he feels in reaction to her words. This is one the most infuriating things about her, not the indecisiveness, but the unwillingness to voice and go after what she really wants.

It's a simple question really does she want him or not. If she doesn't, he'll… well he will live and get over it eventually. "Don't try to spare my feelings okay, if you have something to say, _say it_."

She stands up abruptly. "It's not that, it's I don't _know_ what to do! The past few days, they happened, and they were wonderful, but they were also very irresponsible. I have a fiancée waiting for me at a hotel, who's going to be crushed when he finds out."

She starts to walk out of the kitchen and he follows, "So you make love to me and then you go back to your fiancée? That's it then? This was just something you needed to get out of your system to become Mrs. Hammond."

That hurts but if that's the reality he needs to know it. "No, it wasn't like that, I came here for closure and instead this happened and… I made a promise to a man, he gave me a ring and I gave him my word."

He can't resist a biting, "And your word is shot to hell now, don't you think?"

"I don't... I don't know." her eyes well up with tears that he wants to wipe away but he's also so frustrated. "I'll find out when I talk to him."

"So that's it, you are just going back to him, this meant nothing to you?"

She reaches for him, but he flinches away, "No, how can you say that, this meant so much but it, it can't… I have to see Daniel, I promised to marry him."

"Do you love him?"

"I… what? Why does that matter?"

"It's a simple yes or no question, _do you love him?_"

"What does it matter?"

They've slowly been inching closer and closer to the door and he's suddenly very aware she might leave without answering. "What do you mean, what does it matter? Of course it _matters._ If you don't love him then this is not about keeping your promise, and it's not about following your heart, it's about security."

He regrets that last bit the minute it comes out. She glares at him, "What is that supposed to mean?"

He regrets saying it but he already alluded to it so might as well own it. "Money!"

"What are you talking about?"

"He's got a lot of money." And then he stops, takes a breath and hopes he's not messing this all up. "He's the easy choice he can give you all the things you want. I can't do that. I've never been able to do that, but you came here, to see me. Regardless of whether you are willing to admit it that _meant something_. You wouldn't be here if there wasn't something missing."

"Wow, you… you… I cannot believe you."

He's probably being a cad, he doesn't actually know much about her fiancée but isn't that also telling. "It's true, if you were really happy, really satisfied with that relationship, then you wouldn't have come here, but you aren't. And so I'm asking—even though I shouldn't—dammit I'm asking you, will stay with me? See how this goes, give us a real shot."

God, please say yes, please. "Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're _already_ fighting."

He sighs, a long drawn out one because so what? "Yeah because it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. And we're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that, because I _want you_. I want all of you, _forever_, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me? Please? Will you just picture your life for me? Years from now, years from now, what's it look like? If it's with that guy, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I could do it again, if I thought it's what you really wanted. But don't you take the _easy_ way out."

Her hands fly up as she huffs, "What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt."

For the love of god, "Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants. Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do you want? What do you want?"

"It's not that simple."

It is. "What do you want?"

"It's not—"

He will lose his mind if she says it's not that simple one more time. "Goddamn it, what do you want?"

"I have to go," and she turns, reaching for the door.

He rushes to her side, "Please think about it, decide what you want. I… I still love you at least I think I do, and it's crazy I know. I want you to be happy and if that's not with me fine. But don't let what your mother wants or what this guy wants stop you from going for what you want. Will you do that for me, _please_?"

She nods ever so slightly and then opens the door, leaving him anxious and confused, wondering if that was her walking out of his life for good.

* * *

_**July 1940**_

_This summer has been the best of his entire life. Every moment spent with Regina has been a new adventure. On their second date, when he took her for ice cream, she confided that she wanted to try "everything the town had to offer" and he's been determined that they do just that. He took her to the beach and they acted like children, building sand castles, splashing each other, laughing loudly, not a care in the world. She's so beautiful like that, free, open and happy, he tries to make that happen every time they see each other. They went biking, dancing, he took her out to a field in his beat up truck and let her drive, took her to another film so she could get the 'real' late night experience (the only thing he could tell you about that film is that Regina had tasted like the Junior Mints she made them stop to get because she'd never had them before). As much as it has been a summer of firsts for her, it also has been for him, everything feels different, better with her, things feel like all new experiences when does them with her. It's been two months of pure bliss. _

_He's falling for her, and hard and that's the reason he agreed to this, and how could he say no to dinner with her parents. But it's at the country club, with four of their friends and he has never ever in his life felt so absolutely out of place before. When they are together, just them, it's easy to forget the different worlds they come from, easy to just be happy together. _

_But here, as he struggles to sit properly, use the right utensil, and take tasteful sips of the liquor that inevitably costs more than he makes in a day, probably even a week, the reality of their situation hits him hard. _

_He will never be able to give this to her, and he knows it's not what she wants but she also fits in this world, in a way that he never will, and would never want to. _

_For the first time since they got together he thinks maybe this was a bad idea. He's in way too deep, he would never ever end it, but how could this ever work? He could never ask Regina to give all this up. _

_She's oblivious to ponderings, dazzles him with her smile, discreetly whispers snide comments about the other guests, or gentle reminders about which utensil he should be using. _

_He tries to keep his mind off of how wrong this dinner feels, tells himself to just enjoy being with Regina, but that annoying voice in his head keeps reminding him how much he does not belong here. _

"_So, what do you do, Robin?" Cora asks, addressing him directly for the first time that night, and possibly ever. _

"_I work at the lumber yard." Mainly milling and receiving logs…" he watches with subtle amusement as the man to Cora's left, Mr. Gold shudders, "and stripping the bark."_

"_Oh, that's lovely, dear," she says in a tone that would almost seem sincere if her nose hadn't wrinkled when he mentioned what he does. _

_He knows what the only acceptable response is though, so all he says is, "Thank you."_

_The big burly guy, with the awful mustache, who he can't remember the name of asks, "If you don't mind my asking, uh, how much do you make at your job?"_

_That's not something he was expecting to be asked and he replies dumbly, as if repeating the question will make it go away. "How much money do I make?"_

"_Mm-hmm."_

_He doesn't know why he's hesitating, he's not ashamed, he knows he isn't a part of this crowd. "About 40 cents an hour." he watches as mustache man grimaces in disbelief and he feels the ridiculous need to defend himself, "Yeah, it's not much, but I don't need a lot. And l… I save most of it._

_The mustache man clearly has more questions but Regina's father, bless him, speaks before he can. "So Robin, you and Regina have been spending a lot of time together." Henry smiles at him and for the first time all dinner Robin feels accepted. "You must be very fond of each other."_

"_We are," he says smiling and Regina clasps her hand in his smiling over at him. _

_Cora asks, "It's getting pretty serious, huh?" and he's immediately on edge because she doesn't take an interest in them, and aside from trying to make him feel uncomfortable she likes to ignore him and pretend their relationship doesn't exist._

_And again there is only one acceptable answer, but at least this time it's (most of) what he wants to say, "Yes, ma'am." In a perfect world he'd lose the ma'am since Cora is nothing but rude to him, but he doesn't have the luxury of stooping to her level and he doesn't want to upset Regina even though this dinner was so clearly a mistake._

"_Well, summer's almost gone. What will you do?"_

_He shouldn't engage but, "Columbia is only a couple of hours away." _

"_But Regina's going to Sarah Lawrence."_

_And that's news, he looks at Regina and she looks fraught and mouths an "I'm sorry." _

"_Didn't she tell you?" Cora asks clearly knowing that she hadn't and being far too smug about it. _

_While he's annoyed Regina hadn't mentioned it, he's much more annoyed at her mother for dropping that bombshell. He tries his best to keep his voice steady but he can't keep some of the ice from his tone. "No, she didn't tell me that."_

_He feels bad when Regina responds quietly, "I just got the letter. I was going to tell you," because his tone, the anger behind it, it wasn't directed at her. _

_He reassures, "It's okay." He knew it had to be something like that, knew she wouldn't keep that from him intentionally. No wonder Cora is so god damn smug, he seethes silently, he hates her mother, has tried his hardest not to, but boy does he ever. _

_His rage increases when Cora adds a self-satisfied, "And Sarah Lawrence is in New York," as if he didn't know that._

"_Cora this conversation's too stuffy for the dinner table. Let the children have fun without bringing in the Spanish Inquisition," Henry says giving them a subtle wink, and he appreciates it, he does but he's distracted. _

_New York, Regina is going to be in New York, starting in September. _

_This relationship has an expiration date. _


	7. Chapter 7

She frets the entire drive. What is she supposed to do? She wants to be with Robin, she thinks she does anyway, but she can't, that's stupid. It's been two days, but only two days and that doesn't mean it's going to work out, that they will work out. And she also doesn't want to break Daniel's heart, she really cares for him. It's all a mess and it's all her fault and…

Oh god, oh god! Holy lord, she almost swerves off of the damn road lost in her thoughts. She jerks the steering wheel to the left, narrowly avoiding the ditch, heart racing, head spinning. She's gripping the steering wheel so hard her hands turn white as she takes in shaky breaths. The last thing she needs right now is to crash this car. She may have ruined her life but she doesn't want to end it. Not like this.

She's so stupid though, it was ridiculous to come here. How could she do this to Daniel? He is a good man, a good man that she is about to devastate, all because she has no self-control when it comes to Robin. And she hasn't even given herself to Daniel ever, she's been denying him something she just gave freely and repeatedly to Robin. That just makes her feel even worse because she's been denying Daniel that kind of pleasure, and for what reason? She told him she wanted to wait for marriage but then she goes and does it with Robin. What is Daniel going to think? Her mother was right, she is a tramp.

How could she do that to Daniel? Cheat on him. It's unforgivable. But he is so good he just might forgive her and if he does how can she say no, how can she do that to him and then reject him.

She's an awful person and what she did was horrendous. Daniel deserves so much better than her, she's always known that, but that doesn't mean she needed to go set their whole relationship on fire. This was beyond stupid and now not only is she completely unworthy of him, she's broken his trust the one thing she'd earned.

She tried to be that person, the one he deserves, she did. But she's not the perfect wife and all that all of the pretending did was drive her into Robin's arms, when she never even gave Daniel the chance to see and accept that side of her. It's not entirely her fault, her mother has always pushed her to be someone she wasn't and she followed it, mostly, until she met Robin. But then when she ended up with her heart crushed she unintentionally fell back into her old patterns, found herself thinking about what her mother would want, found herself craving her approval, her love.

Daniel is exactly who her mother always wanted for her and because of that she found herself following her mother stupid advice, trying to be someone she wasn't the person she thought Daniel wanted.

But he had proved time and again all he wanted was her and those few times she had expressed her distaste for the high society events, had told him she wanted a simple life he had humoured her. He told her how different things would be once they were married, that she would be free and she had clung to that. But really there was no reason she couldn't have been free the whole time, she sees that clearly now.

She realizes that if she had just been honest with herself and with Daniel about what she wanted things likely would have turned out so differently. She wouldn't be so confused, wouldn't be driving, and a bit recklessly, back to her hotel room so her fiancée can confront her about her obscene and lewd behaviour. She betrayed him in the worst way possible and now she has to pay for it, and unfairly, so does he.

She feels sick with her guilt because he does not deserve this. Now she has to go in there and rip his heart to shreds. The thought of it is torture, makes her want to run away and never come back, but she has to face it, what she's done. At the bare minimum, she owes that to him.

She spots his car when she pulls into the lot and bile rises in her throat, her stomach lurching. Her hand flies to her stomach as she pulls in quick breaths trying to quell the rising nausea. She needs to be strong, needs to do this even though every fibre of her being is begging her to run off.

Her breath is still shaky, chest tight, stomach in knots when she goes to open her hotel room door. The panic rises as she reaches for her key and nearly drops it because her hand is shaking so much. She takes a second, draws a slow inhale as she wills her hand not shake and then goes to unlock the door. As she turns the key she realizes it's already unlocked, which means Daniel is here. She can't avoid him, this is it.

She opens the door slowly and there is Daniel, sitting on the bed, waiting. He looks rundown, haggard, like his whole world has been shattered, and it pulls at her heartstrings to know that it is because of her, she did this. She destroyed him with her foolish and selfish actions, no one else, her. She is the cause of his grief, sadness, of those unshed tears in his eyes as he looks at her.

There's a bottle of Whiskey on the side table and a glass in his hand. The bottle is nearly half empty and she knows it would have been full when he arrived.

He looks at her and he's so pained she wants to wrap her arms around him and take away the pain but she has lost that right. It's not like she can take away the pain anyway because it's all caused by her, by her idiotic, irresponsible and heartless actions.

Daniel swirls the amber liquid in his glass and downs it in one swallow. His eyes water for a second and then his face goes blank, his voice is surprisingly steady and unslurred as he speaks slowly. "The way I see it, I got three choices. One, I can shoot him. Two, I can kick the crap out of him. Or three… I leave you." He sighs and really looks at her, sending another pinch of guilt through her. "Well, all tha's no good. Cause… none of those options get me you."

She can't take it anymore, she has to do something, she can't bear to see him like this. She sits down beside him, wraps her arms around him. His head slumps onto her shoulder as he admits, "And in spite of everything, I love you."

Her heart breaks at that. "I love you too. I do…"

He looks up at her, eyes hopeful, "I meant what I said when I gave you tha' ring."

She lets out a shaky breath, trying her hardest not to cry, she needs to get through this. She knows how much he hates to see her cry, and she shouldn't cause him anymore pain. "I did too. I did too. It's just that when I'm…" she pauses to collect herself, as his face starts to fall, "when I'm with Robin I feel like one person and when I'm with you I feel like someone totally different. And, and I don't know that I want to be that person."

He sighs head falling to her shoulder again. "Iss normal not to forget your firs' love. I love you, Regina, but I wan' you for mysself. I don't wanna haf to convince my fiancée that she shu' be wif me."

He's right, she's awful, a terrible, sorry excuse for a human being, always a disappointment. "You don't have to I already know I should be with you."

His words rush out and she realizes how careful he was being earlier, how much effort he put in not to show that he was drunk. He was still trying to make a good impression, and that pains her as much as his words. "Bu' do you wannabe wif me? Because despie evythin I still wannabe wif you. But when I said I wan you all to myself... I meant I want you to wannabe wif me, and me only. I don' wannabe sharin' your heart with some ol' flame."

She cries then, can't help it, feels the damn burst because that's what she's been doing to him this whole time and he is so good to her and she has treated him like trash.

"God Daniel, I… I-I'm s-o ssorry."

He bends down beside her, grabbing her hands in his, looking up at her sorrowfully, "S'rry cause you love him?"

She sobs loudly, her body shaking from the force of it. "I d-don't… I—I don't deserve you."

He looks at her resigned, his head falling onto her lap, "Bu' you don' wanna me either."

"I… I don't know what I want."

He pulls his face up then and she sees the tears he was hiding. "Don' lie tome R'gina, we bof know tha'snot true, you know wha' you wan' and issnot me."

He stands up, grabbing his bottle and his bag and she cries, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

He turns back at the doorway and tells her sadly, "I'm tooo, we really coulda been somefing ssspecial but I never stood a c-chance, I… I see tha' now. Goodbye Regina."

He closes the door and she breaks down into full-body sobs. She shakes and chokes and tears stream down her face, her nose running. She cries and cries. She can't seem to stop and she deserves it, this pain after what she did. She's a god awful human being who hurt so many people by being so stupid and careless. She doesn't deserve to be happy. Doesn't deserve anyone after everything she's done. She hurt everyone, not just Daniel but Robin too. He told her he loved her and she said nothing, she walked away without giving him any clue of what she was doing.

She didn't know right away that he was what she wanted… or at least she wasn't willing to admit it. Robin should have someone better, someone who would have chosen him right away, not left him hanging in this purgatory. He deserves someone who has it all figured out and that's not her, it never has been. She can't go back to him crying about her mistakes, over her heartbreak from breaking Daniel's heart. She knows she made the right choice. She is distraught because of what she did to Daniel, but when things ended up Robin she was destroyed, it was agony, earth-shattering grief over the loss of that relationship. She's mourning the end of things with Daniel, but more so how it ended, what she did to him, than the loss of being with him. She will miss him she will, but she will get over this in a way she never got over Robin.

Daniel deserved better than her, and Robin deserves better than her, a messed up broken person who can't make up her mind when it really counts. Who only realizes what she wants, what she needs, when it's too late. A person who takes everything they have for granted. She is not good enough for him, for the kind sweet man who somehow always sees the best in her, who pushes her to go for what she really wants regardless of whether it's what he wants.

But she is weak and selfish so when the tears finally stop, when she is all cried out, headache brewing, she changes, grabs her stuff and throws her bag in the car. She checks out of the hotel, her face still red and eyes bloodshot from all the crying. She sees the pity in the concierge's eyes but she pretends not to.

She gets in the car and heads to Robin's. Her nerves build and build as she drives because what is she going to say to him. What can she say to him?

She takes a few breaths when she pulls in the driveway and stumbles up his walkway. She's halfway to the door when he comes rushing out with an exultant "Regina," that she is unworthy of.

Then he scoops her in his arms, plants a kiss into her hair and she loses it again. Turns out she did have some unshed tears left. She cries into his chest as his hands slide down her back. It's so soothing but she feels guilty for feeling soothed, because she is crying in his arms over another man. What kind of a person does that? A terrible one, she's a horrible person and somehow he still wants her.

It doesn't last nearly as long, this little breakdown, and when her sobs subside he holds her closer and tells her it's going to be okay.

She feels an odd sense of peace in his arms, a sense of rightness, despite everything. She soaks up the comfort and finally looks at him, there's love in his eyes and she lets it wash over her, calm her fears and woes.

"I broke up with Daniel."

He nods not breaking the eye contact, "I figured as much."

"And… you're not… mad."

"Darling, _why _would _I_ be mad?"

How could he not be? "I leave without saying anything, I come here crying over another man."

"But you are here, that's what matters, and I knew it wouldn't be easy, I told you that. It upsets me that you are upset but I understand why. It's okay to be sad about it Regina, it doesn't mean you feel for me any less, it doesn't mean what we had—what we have, is any less."

God he's perfect, she kisses him softly before any more tears spill from how grateful she is for that, for him. "Thank you and I, I do want to be with you, I do, but there's no guarantee this going to work we have to get to know each other again. We aren't those two kids in love, time has changed us. I feel for you, deeply, I maybe even love you but I need time to figure that out. We can't just jump back to where we were seven years ago…"

"I know, all I wanted was a second chance darling, so come on, stay for dinner and we will figure this out."

That sounds good but she doesn't want to give him the wrong impression. "I, I'm not moving in, I can't live here, not yet. I'll, I'll have to find a place in town."

He looks a little flustered, "I can't believe I'm suggesting this but… Tink has an extra room."

She raises an eyebrow, "Tink huh, the woman you were involved with before, you don't think that would be awkward."

He laughs, "I wasn't sure if you had figured that out."

She laughs a little, silly Robin, she's not that naive. "It wasn't that hard to put together, especially when she came here alone at night and you had a set of women's pajamas in your room."

"She likes you, a lot, she pushed me to tell you how I feel, she wouldn't, she doesn't care about that, we were never…"

He's so adorable all flustered she raises onto her toes and plants another kiss on his lips. "It's okay, I know it's not like us, and I'll figure something out."

She does, she ends up staying at Tink's place, for a while anyway. She spends most nights at Robin's, that is, until Tink makes her face the reality she's been avoiding. The two missed periods, sore boobs, constant fatigue but inability to sleep reality that gets confirmed by the town doctor Tink drags her to.

She hadn't wanted to move too fast, but she's in love with him, and with a baby on the way she takes the plunge and moves in. They decide to wait to get married, until after their child is born. Robin hopes for a little girl but falls in love with their son Henry the second he meets him. Regina cuts out her mother, before Cora has the chance to disown her, but her father comes to visit from time to time, gets to know his grandchild. He gives her away at their little wedding in the summer of 1950, on the ten-year anniversary of their first meeting.

After Roland is born in 1956, her father moves into the summer home in Charleston full time. He visits Charlotte every so often for social events Cora couldn't possibly go alone to, but outside of one-off social occasions builds a life in Charleston away from the wife he never could stand.

They end up with that little girl Robin always wanted when Henry is thirteen and Roland is six. She was a bit of a surprise little Margaret Robyn Locksley, but a happy one. Their house is full and happy, exactly what Regina had pictured when she described her dream home to Robin all those years ago.

It's not the life she'd pictured for herself, it's better.


End file.
